Details In The Fabric
by Sin Maxwell and Co
Summary: Prequel to Mad World. How did Harry become the disillusioned anorexic boy who went to Forks? Where did it all turn? This is the story of his life up until he left the Wizarding World for good. Anorexia triggering, slash, eventual rape, angst. DM/HP, HP/LV
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Woot! The long await prequel to Mad World! I know, I know. It's sure taken long enough, but I thank all fo you who were patient enough to wait for it. I post this in celebration for the Half Blood Prince movie release today!! Heck yeah! So here it is. **Warnings: anorexia, slash. **If anything else comes up I'll be sure to let you know.

Disclaimer: Nope. I own nothing.

Chapter One--------- Details In The Fabric

Harry stepped into the Great Hall, releasing a sigh of relief at having finally gotten away from his clingy cohorts. He appreciated them, honest, but sometimes he just needed _space_. Room to breathe. He sighed as he settled into his seat at the Gryffindor table, the only one awake so far. There were a few Slytherins sitting across the hall and of course, Snape, at the Head Table. His thoughts had turned to the events of the past year without meaning to. The smirk on that handsome face, the hunger in Tom Riddle's eyes in the Chamber of Secrets as he saw life for himself so close to his grasp. What must that feel like? To be trapped in some cold unforgiving book for decades, alone? Harry could sympathize. He'd been alone for a very long time. Even with his friends he often felt as if he couldn't relate to them. Alone.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he almost didn't notice the very plain looking nondescript barn owl land in front of him. It held a simple note in it's talons, rolled up with a piece of ribbon. He frowned. No one ever sent him mail. Never. He apologized to the grumpy looking owl for having nothing to give it but the creature seemed more interested in getting back to the owlery to sleep. Harry unrolled the note and frowned.

'_Meet me in the third floor corridor, second classroom down on the left. It's a new year, and time for a fresh start. Come alone and so will I.'_

It was signed simply _D.M._ in an elegant script. Draco Malfoy? He glanced over at the Slytherin table and there he was, watching him back. This time, however, his usual sneer or smirk was missing. Instead, Malfoy was simply watching him, as if waiting for his answer. Harry gave him a soft nod, earning one in return. If it was a trap, he would be ready for him. If not then…well, this could be good. Malfoy as an ally was better than Malfoy as an enemy. Perhaps they could even be friends?

~ o ~

I walked alone down the hallways, tryign not to feel the bitterness eating a hole inside me. People usually flocked to try and suck up to me, unless their precious Savior was anything less then perfect. Lying two faced bastards. It was a double edged sword though. I despised them for their fickle attentions and yet craved it more than anything. I wanted to feel loved. I wanted to feel like I wasn't just a lump of worthlessness. I wanted peace. Control. I guess that's why I was entering the Room of Requirement in the dead of night to meet my school rival. I was chasing a dream, a wish. Draco was already inside when I arrived, sitting in an overstuffed black armchair. He was in his pajamas, his hair rumpled and a cup of hot chocolate in hand. There was a cup set for me as well sitting across from him before the second armchair. There were biscuits on the small table as well. Peanut butter, mmm. He gave me a cocky grin once I sat down across from him.

"I almost thought that you would decide not to come." He said lightly, but there was no coldness to his voice like usual.

I shrugged lightly.

"So…What's this all about? What did you mean in that note?" I asked, hoping in my most fervent wishes that this wasn't some cruel joke.

He sipped his cocoa relaxedly.

"Exactly what I said. I want to start over. We both got off on the wrong foot in first year and this is going to go on forever unless we end it here. What do you say…friends?" He asked, his usual snooty manner gone to be replaced with a vulnerability of his own.

I realized in that moment that we were both, for all of our hot headedness and previous dislike for each other, still just kids. We were only thirteen and Draco was right. I didn't want more enemies, I wanted more friends. Real friends. I gave him a sheepish smile and nodded. He must have caught up on my mood as of late because after a comfortable silence, he frowned, stirring his cocoa thoughtfully.

"Are you alright…?" He asked lightly, and there was a softness in his eyes that I had never seen before.

I plastered on my usual smile. You know. The one you give people when you just want them to back off and stop asking you about it.

"Why the concern? We've only been friends for two minutes so far." I joked but we both knew that it was a poor attempt at distraction.

He lifted his nose and replied in a mocking, faux stuck up air.

"Well, I can't have my friends waxing poetry anytime soon!" The playful manner fell away though and his seriousness returned, "But really…what's wrong? You seem sad. You have ever since first year."

His powers of observation astounded me and I was so…moved that anyone actually cared enough to ask me. I guess that's why I started telling him what I had been thinking, how I had been feeling. I told him everything and instead of pretending to be interested or playing it off or even laughing at me for it, Draco actually listened. In fact, I learned that night that he felt the same way as I did. We were in the same boat and a camaraderie, a close companionship formed between us that night that withstood even the events of the next day.

~ o ~

I stepped out of the Gryffindor Common Room, determined to get down to the Great Hall before the other lions did. Success! I really didn't need to be interrogated by them about why I wasn't in bed last night. I just wanted a nice piping hot piece of toast and an apple. I never got much to eat at the Dursley's so I seized the opportunity to eat good at Hogwarts. I had just entered the Great Hall when I was met at the door by my newest and, I could already tell, soon to be best of friends.

"Harry! Come here, I want to introduce you to the other Slytherins." Draco said, as perfect and chipper as ever in the morning.

I couldn't help but grin. Now that he wasn't doing his best to accost me at every opportunity, I could see what an intriguing and charmingly amusing personality Draco Malfoy had. I followed him over to the Slytherin table somewhat nervous that the others wouldn't like me. What if they still only saw me as the Gryffindor Golden Boy? My anxiety seemed ill founded however. It appeared that Draco vouching for me was more than good enough for them and the moment I stepped up, Blaise Zabini spoke up first.

"Thank Merlin, I thought Draco would never get you over here. Dray's been singing your praises for days now so I knew you'd warm up to him eventually." The Italian boy laughed, earning a half hearted glare from the Slytherin Prince.

I snorted. I couldn't see Draco singing anyone's praises but that he said so made me feel very welcome. They were all sharp witted and funny, and all of them seemed to take Draco's word on my character to heart. Thanks to Draco, I now had not only one new friend but several. I couldn't wait to tell him how much I appreciated it. We'd decided to meet in our usual spot again tonight to hang out together. It was going so well until the rest of the school started filing in for breakfast. First were the whispers and stares. When Ron stepped into the room, his face turned red and I knew that it wasn't from embarrassment. Dray saw the expression on the Weasley's face and nudged me lightly.

"Hey, your Weasley's here. If he gives you any trouble, you have a place over here." He said softly, his eyes dead serious.

I gave him a beaming smile and after Pansy had wrangled a promise to let her do a makeover on me and agreeing to walk to Potions with them after breakfast, walked over to my house table. I was met with looks of confusion, disgust and betrayal.

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	2. Chapter 2

A/N: ^-^ How's THAT for a start eh? So Draco and Harry are friends now. What will happen now?

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Two-------- Calm Down

-----------------I sat down silently beside my friends, grabbing my toast and apple. Hermione shut her book, one of the curious gazes.

"Harry, did the Slytherins want anything?" She asked patiently.

I smiled at her and told her about Draco and I settling our differences and his introductions. She thought it was a wonderful thing, since there would be no more fights in the hallways. Ron didn't think so at all.

"That slimy bastard is using you, Harry! He's the enemy, mate!" He hissed, stabbing his bangers with his fork.

I felt my eyes grow colder. I didn't let anyone insult him so I certainly wasn't going to let him insult Draco.

"Ron, he's my mate now too, so you're going to have to get used to each other. There is enough of me to go around." I said between gritted teeth.

Really, the nerve! He had some gall to say that Draco was using me! He slammed his fork down angrily and stood up jerkily.

"Not bloody likely!" He shot over his shoulder as he stormed from the hall.

Hermione sighed and with a parting smile and a sigh, followed the other boy hurriedly. I sighed and with a glance at my slightly hostile house, returned to my new friends in Slytherin. Draco was ready with a sympathetic pat on the back and a cup of coffee for me. Despite the fact that my best friend now thought I was betraying all that Gryffindor stood for, Draco and the others managed to make me smile again. After all, if Gryffindor stood for insensitivity, prejudice and intolerance, then I didn't want to be a part of it anyways

~ o ~

--------------------"Hey, Harry! Blaise says you have to come stay in the Slytherin dorms with us tomorrow night for his birthday bash we're throwing there." Draco said with a grin, wiggling his pale eyebrows suggestively at his best friend.

Harry gave him a playful push.

"You are such a horndog, Dray. But tell him I'll be there. Not even Filch and a dragon could keep me away."

He pushed his longer, but much more tame and sleek hair sway from his face. Pansy had practically attacked him during his makeover but when she was done, he had barely recognized himself. She had parted his hair to the side and magically permed it so that the silky black locks fell around his face in a slight curl and covered his scar, much to his relief. His hair had grown to his shoulders and framed his eyes beautifully. He had ditched his chunky glasses for a thin, sleek pair that Dray had shown him in a magazine. They had planned for this weekend to go to Hogsmeade and buy Harry a whole new wardrobe as well. They were in their special spot in the middle of the night once again, curled up together on the couch.

"So, that whole Winter Ball in coming up soon." Draco said slyly.

Harry blanched. How could he forget. After Ron had deemed him worthy to be spoken to again, he had gone on and on about who to invite to go with him. Hermione was being rather tight lipped about the whole affair. Ron, the great git, still refused to acknowledge Draco's presence or be decent to him. The one time he had been nasty to Dray and attempted to jinx his class work, Harry had outright cursed him in the middle of the hallway. Professor Snape had been the only teacher around and had been conveniently enough engaged in telling off another student for looking at him wrong.

"Ugh, don't remind me." He shuddered in disgust.

Dray raised an eyebrow, smirking at the reaction.

"Well, I'm afraid I have to. Otherwise, how am I going to get you to be my date for it?" The blonde said offhandedly, pretending to look at his nails when he was really staring at his best friend's open mouthed response.

Harrison couldn't help but stare. He had never dated someone before. Never! Sure he had had girls bat their eyelashes at him and mail him chocolates and things on Valentine's Day but never actually taken interest in anyone. He could, however, see himself dating Draco. What would be cooler than dating his best friend, after all? And Draco was, admittedly, drop dead gorgeous. He was all anyone could ever want in a boyfriend and a best friend.

"You want me to be your date for the Ball? Really?" He stammered lightly with a blush.

"And many more dates after that, I hope." Draco replied easily.

Harry's smile was infectious and his best friend leaned towards him and captured his first kiss softly. They shared a secret smile before Draco hopped up with a grin, clapping his hands together.

"Now! We have to figure out what to wear! Elseways Pansy might try and pick for us. I brought that catalogue we were looking through yesterday."

The two of them spread out on the floor in front of the fire, deciding on two sets of dress robes and what to wear beneath them. Draco was frowning lightly.

"Bugger, I'll never be able to fit into those. I'm way too fat." Harry frowned, looking over at his new boyfriend curiously. Dray didn't look fat to him but who was he to compare? Everyone looked skinny next to the Durlseys! Was he alittle pudgy too? He realized with a blush that Draco had been talking and he had been lost in thought, "I guess I'll just go on a diet until the Ball."

A diet. Huh. All he knew about diets was the grapefruit one that Smeltings ordered for Dudley. He remembered that his cousin wasn't allowed junk food or burgers and most meats and things. Mainly fruits and vegetables. Harry didn't think it sounded too bad. After all, he didn't eat most of those things. The Dursleys had never allowed him those things anyways. It was a good thing too because otherwise he would probably look just like them. He was pudgy enough already apparently. Wanting to be supportive and have an excuse to spend more time with Draco, Harry piped in.

"I'll go on one with you! It'll be fun!" He said with a smile.

Besides, if he could be a better boyfriend for Draco then he would diet for as long as he wanted him to. He wanted to be the best boyfriend ever! His thoughts were reaffirmed by Draco's wide grin and the blonde taking his hand gently.

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	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Woot! DrayXHarryness! Time to prepare for the ball! Lol, it's like Cinderella! Harry found his prince. 3

Disclaimer: Nope.

Chapter Three------- Deep Breaths

They sat at breakfast the next day and Dray was helping him work over his new diet plan. They needed to get the details down before Blaise's party that night.

"Okay, so we are going to want to avoid milk products for sure and sweets of course, which means no cake tonight." Draco began, writing this down on a piece of parchment in front of him.

Gryffindor table was casting him hateful looks after news of his new boyfriend reached every ear in the school just a few moments ago. Even Hermione was frowning darkly, her eyes never leaving the spot on her page in front of her, her attention focused more inwardly than Hogwarts: A History.

"Oh, meats and things too. My cousin had to go on a diet once and Aunt Petunia would only let him have turkey but wouldn't let him have gravy with it." He added and Draco nodded emphatically, jotting down his suggestions on the paper.

"Good idea. We'll need to exercise plenty as well. We can do that when we meet at night."

He made Harry a copy of the paper and they sat discussing between themselves which of the breakfast foods in front of them would and wouldn't ruin their diet. They both settled on strawberries, a bit of toast without butter and some melon slices. Pansy was in ecstatic fetters about their blooming relationship, especially when Draco leaned over and licked the strawberry taste from Harry's lips just to tease her. Fortunately for him, it also cause Harry to blush to his roots rather adorably.

He kept a steady arm around his boyfriend's middle and they both basked in the warmth of each other. Harry knew Ron was watching and when his gaze flicked to his house table, he was the red head absolutely infuriated. His face was red enough to fry an egg on and Hermione was skillfully and yet unsuccessfully attempting to calm down her friend's anger. The sight made his stomach twist uncomfortably, guiltily. What did he have to be guilty about though? So what if Draco was a Slytherin! It was none of their business who he dated anyways! They wouldn't make him feel guilty for being with someone he liked! It wasn't fair! They wouldn't stop him from being happy. He glared at his plate furiously before Dray tugged him up lightly. He hadn't even noticed the end of breakfast. He and Draco walked to potions surrounded by the rest of the Slytherin table so they wouldn't be accosted by the irate lions in the hallway.

~ o H o ~

Blaise's party was loud and riotous and everything that I thought I would never enjoy but found strangely thrilling. There was a buffet table that Draco and I were avoiding like the plague and instead were sipping on some sort of alcoholic drink that tasted like strawberries. I was curled up beside Dray after he had dragged me around to everyone I hadn't met yet and made introductions. It was odd. I never thought that I would feel more at home in the Snake's Nest than in the Lion's Den but I did. As long as I had Dray then I was perfectly fine. I was secretly glad that he was holding my undivided attention because I had learned rather quickly that fruit and vegetables didn't fill you up for very long and since I had started having just coffee for breakfast in the mornings, hunger was knowing at my belly and my eyes had flitted to the buffet table more than once tonight. I had found myself constantly thinking about food. During class, while hanging out with friends, in the bathtub. It was maddening!

I knew that Dray was no better off than me, though and I had promised myself, after falling to the call of a slice of cobbler while I was passing the kitchens earlier today, that I would stick with it. We had entered this endeavor together after all, and I couldn't just abandon him! I couldn't let him down. I was pathetic. It had only been two days! I settled my resolve once again with a big gulp of my drink. I would be the best boyfriend ever. Draco was gorgeous after all and he couldn't have a fat boyfriend! We had taken to weighing ourselves each time we got together at night. I had already sent in for a scale of my own from the same catalogue that we had ordered our clothes from because I didn't trust the scale in the boys bathroom.

I laughed when Crabbe fell from his chair after having a few too many drinks. It must have come out a little giggly because Draco grinned at me and took my glass from my hands ordering Goyle to bring me some pumpkin juice once he was done picking Crabbe up off of the floor. I gave him an appreciative kiss that made Blaise smirk, calling my actions to the attention of those around us. There was a variety of coos and wolf whistles that had me blushing and Draco smirking. I could see why though. Dray was the Slytherin Prince and he had snagged the untouched Gryffindor Golden Boy. We were the talk of the whole school already. He tugged me lightly into the Slytherin Dorm as the party began to unwind. I felt odd being in here. It was where the Slytherins slept after all.

Dray eased my anxiety with a smile and pulled me over to his bed. I blushed but let him strip me to my boxers and lay me beneath the green covers while he stripped as well. I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous he was. When he slid under with me, his skin touched my own causing a reflexive shiver. How we ended up making out, I wasn't sure but I definitely enjoyed his mouth on mine. We had never kissed like this. Not this passionate almost desperate way. Dray was laying above me but we never took it further than kissing. Well, not yet. By the time we were both falling asleep, I was hoping fervently that this would only be the first of many times I would sleep in the Slytherin Dorms.

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	4. Chapter 4

A/N: ^____^ So do you like? Make sure you let me know!

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Fourth----- Get Yourself Dressed Instead

"Oh Merlin! Harry! I lost five pounds!" Dray crowed happily after our evening exercises.

He was standing on the scale and not for the first time, I felt envious of my boyfriend. I had lost five too but then I had hit that evil plateau. Pansy had assured me that it was normal but I had despaired. The Winter Ball was only a few weeks away and I wanted to lose ten by the time it came around. That was the goal Dray and I had set. I was practically sweating bullets about it and had even discussed it with Dray, who had reassured me that we would just cut our portions a little and up our exercise time. He was such a good boyfriend.

I had taken to exercising in between classes and even at some meal times as well so the Gryffindors didn't harass me about it. None of them were pleased that I was dating, and supposedly screwing like bunnies according to the rumor grapevine, Draco Malfoy. I couldn't give a flying fuck what they thought though. I finally felt good about myself for once. My new clothes showed off my new and improved figure to the best of their abilities and I had already had seven offered dates to the Ball.

Along with my new look, I felt myself coming out of my wallflower shell like a butterfly from a chrysalis. I felt empowered and strong! I felt secure in myself when I was in a crowd and I no longer worried that I didn't fit in with my new friends. I knew I did. Draco and I weren't bashful about our relationship in the least either. More than once, we had been found snogging in odd crevices of the school at all hours of the day and night.

"You lucky bitch. You're lucky I love you so much or I would be jealous." I teased him, leaning in to capture a heated kiss.

Dray smirked and struck a pose. I rolled my eyes. He was such a queen sometimes. He started redressing and I cast refreshing charms on us both. I had decided to turn over a new leaf and with my new look came a new attention to my studies. I wanted to not only be pretty but pretty and intelligent as well. Heaven forbid, I spend class staring into space like Ron did. Hermione and Ron didn't seem to know what to make of me but they were both willing to give me a chance, in Ron's case only when Dray wasn't there.

I was quickly moving up in all of my classes and Dray even studied with me. He had even told me that he was proud of how well I was doing now. That had made my week. No one had ever said that to me and I yearned to hear it again. I glared at my stomach furiously. It seemed hell bent on destroying me and keeping me fat and unloved forever. Draco was 5'6'' and he was at 130. I was two inches shorter and weighed 115. I was aiming for 110 by the time the ball came around and Dray was aiming for 125. I was so close but so far away it seemed. Would my goal be forever out of reach? It seemed like it and that thought depressed me more than anything.

~ o ~

I glared at the food in front of me. I was in a foul mood. The Ball was this weekend and I hadn't lost a pound. I had GAINED two pounds. Fucking ice cream. This was all Hermione's fault. If she hadn't been pestering me then this wouldn't have happened!

Flashback

"_Harry, you should eat more, really. Look at your plate and compare it to Ron's. Your thin as it is, you should eat more like him." She said in a bossy voice, staring at me over her copy of Potions and Poisons For The Novice Brewer._

_I sneered at her shamelessly._

"_A hippogriff eats less than Ron does! Back off. I don't need a mom, Hermione."_

End Flashback

That had ended in another angry shouting match between Ron and I about how I should treat his would be girlfriend better. If she would stop trying to mother me then maybe I wouldn't have to tell her to back off. Dray squeezed my hand understandingly and I felt my features soften. He was so perfect. I wish I could be as perfect as him, if not for myself than for him. I had pushed my plate away angrily. He understood my fuming and only took a few bites himself. I wasn't touching anything today. If I didn't eat anything maybe it would make up for the fact that I had overeaten and gained weight.

"Hey Harry, what are you planning to do this winter break?" Dray asked me, running his thumb along my hand.

I blinked owlishly at him. I had completely forgotten about Christmas in lieu of the Winter Ball, especially since I always let the holiday pass without circumstance. Its not like my relatives wanted to see me during their perfect little holiday and the feeling was mutual. I thought of them whenever I got the urge to overeat now. I blushed alittle, suddenly embarrassed by even the thought of my relatives and that I had no one to spend the holidays with. No one who welcomed my presence like my normal friends and my flawless boyfriend. I toyed with my cup of coffee to try and hide my blush.

"Um…well, I was gonna stay here like usual."

He seemed to sense my unease and refrained from commenting although he frowned.

"Would you like to come home with me and meet my parents? Severus will be there too since he's my godfather. It would be really nice for you to be there on Christmas and I'm sure it's better than staying here alone…"

My heart skipped a beat and suddenly, I broke out in a huge grin that I wouldn't seem to hide. Draco wanted me to meet his parents?! He wanted to spend Christmas with me?!

"You mean it? You really want me to come?" I asked excitedly, my eyes shining under the bright sun streaming in from outside.

He smirked.

"Of course unless there's someone else I'm dating that can come. I'd rather have you though."

I gave him a huge hug and proceeded to snog him senseless until Blaise cleared his throat, looking pointedly up at the head table. Dumbledore was giving them both a "Mind the rules!" stare and Snape was spearing his eggs viciously. I gave him another sound kiss, throwing the rules to the wind happily.

"I'd love too!"

Dumbledore's characteristic twinkle was missing though and his voice rang out. He was frowning and staring at us as if puzzled and perhaps a little worried.

"Mr. Potter detention with me tonight after dinner."

Draco glared at the man but I shrugged off my punishment. At least it wasn't the night of the Ball. Then all of my hard work would have been wasted! As it were, I was so excited by the prospect of spending Christmas with my boyfriend that I didn't care if I had detention with Filch! I worried alittle though, feeling self conscious. Dray would surely have so many nice things from his parents for Christmas. What was I going to say when he realized that my own relatives didn't even send a letter let alone presents. I couldn't pretend that the thought didn't trouble me. I was embarrassed to be connected to people so decidedly against my own kind. I had no doubt that it would be a spot of shame for Dray if he ever knew about his own boyfriends wretched relations, never mind what Dray's _parents_ would say or think of me.

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	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Yay!! Harry's going to spend Christmas with Draco! I can't wait to hear from all of you about your opinions on this story. ^-^

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Five------- Of Running Around And Pulling On Your Threads

"Come in, Harry." The wizened voice called from behind the door.

I fought the sneer that threatened to grace my face. I couldn't pretend that I wasn't angry with him for giving me detention. He never gave any of the other couples detention for kissing! It was only because I was his Gryffindor Golden Boy and Dray was another boy. The fact that he was Slytherin was definitely points against him as well in Dumbledore's eyes. I knew that he had been keeping a peculiarly close watch on me ever since Dray and I had befriended each other. I also knew that Hermione and Ron had been talking to him about me. How did I know?

Well for being the smartest girl in school, Hermione certainly did feel confident enough to talk in the Common Room without checking to see if anyone else was around or listening in. I opened the thick door softly and walked in the office with the confidence that Draco had taught me to have and that I had discovered for myself. I knew that what Dumbledore was doing wasn't fair or right and I would set him straight if he continued it. I gave him a cold stare but he persisted in giving me those stupid twinkling eyes. How old did he think I was? Four?! I wasn't going to be felled by pretty words and kind smiles. Never accept candy from strangers after all.

"Lemon drop, Harry?" He offered and I smirked as my analogy was underscored.

"No thank you."

He put the little tin back on the edge of his desk and steepled his fingers together, looking at me straight from over his glasses.

"So I've noticed that you and young Malfoy are very close lately. How did this come about? You were not on friendly terms last I checked." He said lightly.

My cold look deepened. Last I checked it wasn't considered healthy for the Headmaster to take such an interest in a student either.

"We decided that we didn't fancy being pitted against each other forever so we ended the feud and became friends." I responded, letting my displeasure show through in my tone.

He smiled that grandfatherly way that made me want to puke. How had I trusted him so implicitly before? Now that I had the Slytherins to watch and learn from, I could see the manipulations he used now.

"And when did the two of you become an item, Harry?"

Alright I had had enough. This was going too far.

"I wasn't aware that the private lives of the students were the Headmaster's concern, _Headmaster_." I countered hotly.

I was so not discussing my private life with Dumbledore. That was beyond awkward. Creepy in fact. He seemed disappointed but nodded. I fought the sneer that fought to make itself known.

"Of course, your right. I apologize. I was thinking perhaps you would enjoy taking some extra defense lessons with me during the break. Shall we say Tuesday night at six?" He offered, sounding friendly but his voice was honey just waiting to catch the victim unawares.

"Can't. I'm spending Christmas with Draco this year." I said quickly, halting his train of conversation immediately.

His eyes were like stones for a moment but their cold calculating depths were covered with a small frown. How dare he try to manipulate me! I may be a child but I was not his puppet to play with!

"Oh well that is unfortunate. Well, I suppose that you must be allowed your time with your friends. I just hope your not forgetting your real friends. Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger will be sore disappointed if you don't see them this break, I imagine." I was outright glaring now, "Well, I suppose we can conclude our little talk. Don't forget though that there are others who will stand by you, Harry. There are others fighting for this cause as well. Your parents fought for this same cause and I know that they are watching you and are proud."

So he was playing the guilt card now, eh? Well, that was fine because it wouldn't work on me. There was nothing wrong with Draco and although his father may be a little angry with me for the whole Dobby situation last year, I hoped that his parents would like me as well. I nodded coldly and left the office immediately, bypassing the Gryffindor Tower to make my escape to the Slytherin Dorms in the Dungeon. I wanted the loving arms of my boyfriend wrapped around me. I wanted Draco to kiss me and hold me and make all of my insecurities and despair melt away once again.

~ o ~

I stared at the scale ecstatically, elation gripping me even though I was feeling slightly dizzy. It worked! I hadn't eaten one day then only had an apple the next day and repeated the process until the day of the Ball. I was at 110!! Finally! When Dray came into the bathroom, I squealed happily and launched my towel clad body into his arms, giving him a heated kiss of joy. He certainly didn't complain though, in fact, he deepened the kiss and had me pressed back against the sink faster than I could say Bludger. The sexual tension between the two of us had been steadily building for some time now. I threw back my head with a surprised gasp as Dray's hand crept below the towel and down to my bare hip. His hand was just beginning to go towards the place I wanted it when there was a sharp knock at the door and Blaise's voice filtered through.

"Stop snogging, you two! The Ball is going to start in an hour and the rest of us still need to get in there!" He called irritably though his voice held a definite smirk.

Dray sighed and I gave a frustrated groan. Blaise was so getting it! Because I CERTAINLY wasn't! At least not with him interrupting every chance he got. We sighed and parted with a longing kiss and Dray left me to dress in the outfit he had helped me pick out.

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	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Woot! At last! It's time for the Ball! ^_^ How will things go?

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Six----------- If It's A Broken Part, Replace It

The ball was a beautiful affair with dazzling whiteness all over. The Great Hall was dimmed and had been transformed into a sparkling white paradise. Little glowing fairies flitted playfully around holly and Christmas tree and mistletoe had been enchanted to follow people around if they got stuck under it and didn't kiss, something that made Harry grin and became the subject of many jokes. Ron, Harry noticed, had been caught by this particular charm and sat disgruntled underneath the wiggling mistletoe while girls blushed and giggled around him and Luna was spouting off some of her nonsense about invisible creatures in the plant.

Several couples were already dancing to the enchanting music being played by several floating unmanned instruments being directed by Flitwick and several large tables were groaning under the weight of the various Christmas pies, honeyed hams and Yorkshire puddings. Cakes, cookies and every delicious thing that he and Dray weren't allowed to touch were being subjected to the attentions of Crabbe and Goyle currently as well as several others who merely stared in slight humor and disgust at the pair wolfing down whatever they could reach. Dray gave him a slow smirk and before he could even get a word out, Dray had swept him in a slow dance, earning a squeak of surprise. Harry grinned and clung to him, letting him lead like Pansy and Blaise had showed him.

"We did it." He said with a huge smile of triumph.

Draco's own metallic crystalline eyes grinned.

"We did." He frowned slightly though, his grin fading, " I still don't feel like I'm quite there yet, though. I'm going to keep going. I just don't want to do it by myself." His last words were whispered, only for Harry's own ears.

Harry gave him a tender kiss, his smile glowing like a star.

"Well, I'll be there with you. You won't be alone. I promise."

Dray's eyes brightened and he leaned his forehead down so it was touching his boyfriend's. It was a soft gesture that drew more than one pair of eyes around the room. Three pairs in particular were frowning deeply.

"We'll make a pact then. We won't give up until we reach our perfect weight." He declared lightly, his grin becoming sly and sneaky, "Then I'm going to marry you because no one else is good enough." He said haughtily.

Harry stared at him flabbergasted before laughing and nodding. Several people had turned to look at them in shock, especially some well named purebloods in the vicinity, and a few in surprised amusement. They all knew that arranged marriages weren't unusual but a marriage between the Potter and Malfoy families would be very advantageous if Draco could get his parents to agree.

"Well then I guess I had better keep a better eye on you then, Mr. Slytherin Sex God, because you have more than a few interested looks." Harry teased him, letting Dray pull him close against him, not caring who was watching, including the rather frustrated looking Headmaster.

Draco rolled his eyes and glared out at the not so few number of people eyeing his date.

"I'm not the only one. I'll have to beat your lusty admirers away with a chair it seems." He growled.

Harry blushed looking around and realizing he was right. He was getting quite a few stares from girls and boys alike that made him feel like taking a long shower. In response to this he burrowed into the safety of Dray's arms and left the glaring to his boyfriend. Dray would protect him.

"Do they make you uncomfortable, Harry?" Came the whispered question in his ear. When he nodded, he felt the blonde deliver a kiss to his neck, "Don't worry. I promise, I won't let anyone hurt you. Ever."

He smiled up at him, his emerald eyes shining under the fairy lights as they danced in the glittering sea of holiday bliss.

"I know you'll protect me, Dray. I trust you."

Dray leaned down and gave him a kiss so searing that Harry felt burned to his toes and his moan of ecstasy earned them a glare from one particular red head and a silent hiss of annoyance from the Headmaster, not that either of them cared.

~ o ~

"Hurry up! He's coming!" Dray hissed, motioning for him to rush.

Harry was throwing his things into his trunk before jumping on top of it to close it. Draco only stopped long enough to throw a shrinking charm at the thing before he grabbed Harry's hand and they were racing down the hall. Both of them were laughing near hysterically at this point at the undoubtedly, infuriated Headmaster now turning the castle upside down in his search for them. They ducked down a secret passage way and raced to the dungeons quickly. Harry's lungs were burning at the delicious laughter and the pace they had set to escape the Headmaster. All they had to do was make it to Severus's office and they were home free. The cantankerous potion master already had the grate waiting for them to Floo to Malfoy Manor.

Dumbledore had had the nerve to try and forbid him from going to Malfoy Manor. Ha! That old man thought he owned him! They barreled into Severus's chambers, cackling with victory and mirth. The stoic man merely rolled his eyes at their antics and gestured impatiently towards the already green flaming grate. Draco had made it his personal mission to make Harry see that Snape wasn't such a gargoyle. So far he hadn't managed it, but he was remaining optimistic. The two would be together at Malfoy Manor for the holidays after all. Dray pulled him close just as he stepped into the green flames. Harry gave him a crooked grin that promised a long heated snogging session once they had a moment.

"Malfoy Manor." Draco said clearly, dipping down to capture his lips.

As they began to spin wildly, he could see his godfather's sneer and the Headmaster bursting red faced through the door.

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	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Yay! Harry's going to meet Dray's parents! Woot! How will Lucius react?

Disclaimer: Nope.

Chapter Seven----If It's A Broken Arm, Then Brace It

Dray held him up and for the first time, Harry didn't fall out of the grate when they used floo. He felt calm and safe and warm in Draco's arms. He could have purred if he didn't turn around to see Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy staring at them incredulously. Lucius had an elegant eyebrow raised and Narcissa was hiding her smirk at seeing the two boys so closely entwined.

"Draco. I see you decided to bring Mr. Potter after all. Mr. Potter, welcome to our home." Lucius said, amusement in his cool eyes.

Harry flushed under the inquisitive and calculating gaze. He felt alittle like the bugs that Dudley used to fry under a magnifying glass. He gave his best smile, hoping fervently that he met up to his standards. He fidgeted nervously, praying that these robes he had bought didn't show how fat he was. Draco had told him they were very slimming on him. Draco scoffed, going and embracing his mother adoringly.

"Leave Harry alone, Father. Don't scare him away like you did the last ones." He said with a very Slytherin grin.

Lucius waved off his son's scolding and hugged his son instead. Narcissa approached Harry with a coo.

"Oh, I knew you would find someone beautiful, Draco! I knew you wouldn't date someone as…unfortunate as that last girl you were with." She said, smiling brightly down at the blushing Boy Who Lived.

Draco was sniggering by now. Harry was embarrassed and pleased that Dray's mother approved. He was surprised at seeing how close the Malfoy family was. He had expected Lucius to be cold and domineering, nothing like the man who was now embracing his son. Harry grinned up at the lovely lady standing before him.

"Thank you for having me, Mrs. Malfoy. And I must say that I surely couldn't be as beautiful as you. I have never seen a lady more lovely." He smiled and was pleased that it was a complete truth.

Narcissa was gorgeous, truly model material. Draco surely got his beauty from his mother, although Lucius was surely not lacking in good looks at all. She beamed at his praise, wrapping an arm around his waist tenderly. She was warm and smelled of sweetest vanilla.

"Since I know that you really believe your words to be true, I must say thank you for your compliment. Lucius, you had better watch out. I think you have competition over here." She laughed with a wink at her amused husband, "Oh, I do hope you come to stay with us more often, Harry. I could use someone with a sweet a tongue as yours."

Her voice was like musical bells as she giggled. For once, he felt truly envious of his boyfriend. He had such a wonderful, kind family. They may not show their affection in public, but he thought that that was what made it more special. It was private and the affection grew in privacy. They didn't feel the need to prove their affection to everyone else's eyes.

"I hope you allow me to come more often." He said, earning a bright smile from Dray.

"So, Harry, what sort of things do you like to do? How are you doing in school?" Lucius asked, leading them into the extravagant manor.

Behind him, Narcissa had looped her arm in Harry's own and Draco had taken hold of his other hand. To his surprise, Harry actually felt…welcome. And wanted. That meant more to him than any compliment or gift that Draco could grace him with.

~ o ~

_Dear Journal,_

_You were my gift from Hermione this Christmas, despite the fact that it's still several days until then, but I suppose I should write in you. Calling you Journal simply sounds so…impersonal, though, so how about I call you…James. My middle name and my father's name. It's perfect. Maybe something will happen to me someday and people will find you in my things and you'll be published. The Private Times of Harry J. Potter, The Boy Who Died. The Boy Who Died, for you can't really call such a controlled life as mine Living. Every moment of my life was orchestrated and manipulated and controlled until I met Draco. _

_He broke me out of my shell and gave me the lift I needed to spread my wings on my own. He is so wonderful. I even adore his parents, especially Narcissa. She's beauty personified and she is like the mother I had always dreamed of having. She took Draco and I on a picnic in their gardens while Mr. Malfoy, call-me-Lucius, was away at the Ministry. She is such a doll. She takes us shopping and is teaching me how to paint and draw. One day I would like to learn an instrument. The piano is a beautiful piece. When she plays, it's breathtaking although Dray says that he never learned. That's a shame. I can only imagine how angelic he would look sitting at the grand piano, his blonde hair glinting in the sun…Well, anyways, I digress. We've had to stop going shopping in England unfortunately because of the threat of Sirius Black. Can't have their precious Savior near mass murderers, now can they? But Lucius and Narcissa have taken us to some wonderful places in France. I had never had quail until then and I actually kind of like it. I can't help but be nervous about Christmas. What will I say to them when they realize that my relatives don't care enough about me to spare me a thought on Christmas Day? Draco's home and his family are so perfect…how can I ever hope to have people care for me that much? My own relatives despise the thought of me. Surely Dray will come to his senses eventually and realize I'm no good for him. Draco Malfoy, if you don't stop looking over my shoulder then I will hex you into next week!_

He turned to glare at him, closing the book irritably. Dray's silver eyes were on my own studiously blank ones. I didn't want him to see how nervous I was. Did he see what I wrote about the Dursleys? He leaned in to kiss me softly.

"You know that I would never think that way about you, Harry. We may end up not working out as a couple, but I would never abandon you. You'll always be my best friend." He whispered against my lips, his eyes piercing Harry's own.

Harry felt his lip quiver lightly as Dray pulled him back under the covers. They were down to nothing but Slytherin green boxers and their own arms wrapping around one another. Harry groaned at the feel of lips on his neck. He bit his lip, his anxiety turning to devilish mischief. He ran his hand slowly over the front of his boyfriend's boxers, eliciting a sharp gasp from the blonde. His journal lay forgotten beside them on the bed. With a wicked smirk and an approving thrust from Draco, he darted his fingers beneath the fabric. He had never heard Draco cry out so deliciously.

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	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hehe. Christmas time! Bet you guys can't wait to see what happens!. ^-^ Thanks to Tealey for giving me a great review to inspire me once more. If not for you, dear, I would have never gotten off my butt (hypothetically speaking of course) and written this next chappie.

Disclaimer: Nope!!

Chapter Eight---------If It's A Broken Heart, Then Face It

Christmas Day. I was fidgeting, I knew. Draco could tell I was when we took a shower together. I fidgeted nervously all through the wonderful Christmas breakfast and finally, at last, we were sitting in the large den. I wasn't so nervous that I couldn't appreciate the enormous silver tree twinkling with faery lights and bells in the corner, nor the magnificence of the other decorations. It was truly beautiful. The presents were each in their own pile per person, and much to my surprise, mine was almost as nig as Draco's. Narcissa gave me a wink and a smile when she saw my astonished look. Dray was such a little kid sometimes.

He immediately ran over to his pile and happily tore into it, occasionally gasping in surprise or taking on of the gingerbread man cookies off of the tray on the table. I was much more precise with my own. Instead of tearing the wrapping, I carefully and meticulously unfolded each one, placing the paper aside. I had never gotten so many presents in my life. Most of them were from Dray's parents. Narcissa had picked me out a special rounded jade comb that fit into my hair, somehow managing to hold it's growing length up in a surprisingly stylish way as well as a few beautiful trinkets and things. Lucius had gotten me a heavy winter cloak with a chimera clasp as well as several books on obscure magics and a stylish casual suit that managed to compliment every feature I had. I thanked them profusely for my first real Christmas.

It wasn't long before Narcissa turned to me with a deep frown. That could not be good.

"Harry, dear, where are your gifts from your relatives?" She asked curiously, looking around as if they had been misplaced.

I froze, my worst fear coming true. Why couldn't Voldemort just pop out of the drapes and kill me now?!

"Erm…They- ugh -…"

Draco seemed to note my anxiety and he came to my defense spectacularly.

"Harry doesn't celebrate Christmas with his relatives, mother."

Narcissa had a strange pensive expression in her eyes but she nodded and glided over to me, urging me to eat a few of the cookies. I nibbled my lip before taking one with a soft smile. It was harder for me to lose weight than for Draco, so I had to be extra careful about what I ate. He had metabolism like a speed train. I didn't notice the dark look that Lucius and Dray shared over me.

~ o ~

Dray was staring out of his bedroom window, contemplating something or another. It had started to get a little static between us romantically and I knew that he was feeling it too. It was fun while it lasted but to be honest…I just missed my best-friend-Draco, not boyfriend-Draco.

"Hey Harry?"

"Yes?"

He fidgeted alittle before straightening up stiffly. Malfoys did NOT _fidget_. He turned to me and I could see that in his eyes he was worried about my reaction to what he was about to divulge.

"Do you think…that maybe we work better as friends?" He asked somewhat timidly.

It was as if he expected me to burst into tears or make a scene. I gave him a crooked grin.

"I have no doubt about it. Besides, I've seen the way you look at Blaise. Who am I to come between a Malfoy and what he wants?" I teased lightly and grinned as Dray's eyes brightened and he struck a pose.

"That would be no one. Malfoys always get what they want." He scoffed.

A pillow to the face was all it took to break him from his self centered strutting. He sputtered and then he was after me. I shrieked, happiness coursing through me as he raced after me. I ran down the elegant hallways, passing an unsurprised Lucius. I shot a smirk back at a cocky Draco before skidding into the parlor.

"Narcissa! Narcissa help! Draco's gonna eat me!" I yelled and saw Draco's face grimace.

If anyone was the enforcer in the Malfoy household, it was it's matron. Narcissa was standing, dictating flower arrangements to a house elf when they came barreling through. She folded her arms and pretended to get cross with them.

"Now, Draco, what have I told you about consuming your guests?"

He gave me a wicked smirk that had me blushing a a small smirk on Narcissa's lips.

"Just a little taste…" He said suggestively before coming over quickly and scooping me into his arms.

His mother chuckled at us as we exited the parlor and headed to the kitchens for some ice cream. Everything was working out. It was the best Christmas I'd ever had.

~ o ~

Draco sat across from me, shoveling a cookie into his mouth with the force of a bludger. I had my own plate of the treats and we were scarfing them down at an amazing rate. We'd already made our way through a pot of pasta alfredo, a pan of cinnamon rolls, and the gingerbread cookies. After we were done, we had been eyeing the tub of ice cream in the freezer. It was a bad day. I made a small whimper at the uncomfortable fullness in my stomach. It was starting to hurt but I just couldn't stop…Draco and I shared a look over the pan of cookies. It was a look filled with self loathing and hatred. A look of failure. We made a silent agreement to never talk about these kinds of nights. We ended up in the bathroom, puking because of our over distended stomachs and taking some of the potions from the medical cabinet just to make sure. It was the first night I had ever binged and although I knew that it would not be the last, I was at least grateful that Draco was there with me, even when I cried because my stomach hurt so much. He just curled me up in his lap and held me until it was all gone. I would never forget that he did that for me and no matter what happened, I would forever remember that he stayed.

Two days later found us unwillingly back on the Hogwarts express, heading back to the place that I was soon learning wasn't as much of a home as I used to think. Home was where Draco was and for the first time, I was dreading returning to school.

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	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Soooooo, I know it's been for frikkin EVER since I wrote on this story. I really can't apologize enough and can only assure you all that no, I am not dropping it. I ran into a bit of a rough patch for a while and have just now mustered the will to work on it again. So enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Nine~~ Spinning All Around and Now We Fall

When he returned to Hogwarts, things had progressed much the same as they had before the break. His relationship with Hermione and Ron was still strained at best, Draco and the Slytherin crew still kept him going, and Dumbledore was still against everything that made him happy. The only difference? For four days, Harry couldn't sleep. He had been reduced to spending his nights studying or drawing or even wandering about. This left him wandering in a grouchy daze during the day. After nearly falling face forward into his cauldron in potions, Severus had barked for him to stay behind while Draco hovered nervously around him for the rest of class, trying to get some response more defined than a 'mhm' from his friend. The class filed out quickly, all eager to escape Snape's ire, leaving the two boys behind to put up with the man's examination. He stormed up to the desk where Harry hadn't even bothered to move from his position.

"Now really, Mr. Potter, how many people must you maim before this drama is over? What ails you today?" The Potions Master asked, placing a cool hand on the teen's forehead to feel for a fever.

Nothing. Draco was fretting by his side nervously.

"He hasn't slept, Severus." He told him anxiously.

"So you expose us all to your infantile need for a nap-"

"For four days." Severus ended his tirade with a raised eyebrow at his godson, "He doesn't sleep, he just spends the night trying to find something to do."

The man paused to think about this for a long moment, looking the two boys over carefully. Without so much as a warning, he hauled Harry up from the seat and stood him steadily up.

"Go to your next class, Care of Magical Creature's, I believe, and tell the giant that the two of you will miss class and will be with me. We will be back in my office."

Draco rushed off without a word. Severus looked the nearly comatose Boy-Savior over before directing him to follow. Harry did the zombie-shuffle behind him. Snape's private office was rather homey despite the fact that it was made out of the same stone that the rest of the dungeons were designed with. It had plush rugs underfoot and a merry fire in the grate. The place smelled of old books from the towering shelves along one wall and something spicy, no doubt from the drink laid out on a tray next to an oversized sofa and chair. It was to the sofa that he directed Harrison to sit at.

"Very well Mr. Potter, why are you refusing to sleep at night? Must you give my godson a nervous twitch?" He asked in a drawl.

~ o ~ Harry's POV ~ o ~

I winced inwardly. I didn't want to worry Draco, I really didn't but I was tired…I just wanted to curl up somewhere soft and warm and sleep forever, preferably with a certain blonde beside me.

"I try to sleep, Professor…I just can't get to sleep. I try…" I explained softly, just as Dray was coming back through the door.

He slid in next to me, silently offering his own comfort and security. We were strong together. We could do this. I could do this as long as he stood by me. Severus sighed, directing me to stand once again.

"Since I am assuming the two of you are aiming for discretion, I'm going to need you to remove your outer robes and shirt, Mr. Potter, so I may examine you."

With a nudge from Draco, I complied hesitantly. Draco was here, he wouldn't let anything happen to me. But I was still so fat…I didn't want anyone to see. I frowned, unbuttoning my shirt with as much calm as I could muster. I didn't want to do this but for Professor Snape to offer his assistance so that we could stay under the Headmaster's radar was beyond kind for the relationship we had. He had me sit up on the desk so that he could check my vitals and run several scans of a foreign nature on me. Then he had me get down and bend over so he could trace a finger along my spine. I was allowed to put my clothes back on, much to my relief. Wrapped in Draco's arms, he gave me his prognosis.

"Well, you need more fluids and iron, Mr. Potter, and you are underweight…although I suspect you already knew that." Draco and I gave him guilty, sheepish looks to which he only sighed in exasperation, " Far be it from me to intrude in your adolescent activities but I must insist that you come to me should you have any more symptoms, either of you. And should you need to discuss anything or have any needs that need remain discreet then, I will allow you to come see me after classes. Only after classes. I don't need your precious Headmaster breathing down my neck for 'corrupting' his Golden Boy." He handed me a dark colored potion, "This should take care of your insomnia. If it persists after two weeks, come to see me. The directions are on the label. Surely you are capable of following them."

I gave him a weary smile and a small bow to show my gratitude. I had been picking up pureblood mannerisms from Dray's parents, after all.

"I can't thank you enough for taking the time out of your day to help me, Professor. I really do appreciate it." I said with as much sincerity as I could muster.

Snape waved us off though he looked secretly pleased that I had acknowledged his aid. I would have to find the man a gift worthy of the favor he had done. Keeping Draco and my secrets from the Headmaster was a favor that deserved something in return. An intriguing idea surfaced in my mind and a slow smirk danced across my face as we left his quarters to enjoy the rest of our now free period.

"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"How would you like to see the Chamber of Secrets?"

His eyes glowed in excitement. We hurried to the second floor so as not to be noticed. Severus would love it.

~ o ~

The next morning at breakfast, Severus Snape received a large package wrapped in dark green wrapping. Upon opening the box, he was met with ten vials of an acid green fluid and several perfectly preserved slabs of flesh. There were three bags filled to bursting with magnificent shining scales, some as small as his pinky nail and some as large as his palm. They were all perfectly labeled in a familiar barely legible scrawl. Basilisk venom, flesh and scales…There was a single short note inside.

'_A thanks for all of your trouble yesterday, H.P.'_

He looked down at the two sitting at the Slytherin table, only nibbling at pieces of fruit for breakfast. Emerald eyes met his and Snape gave him an appreciative nod. Potter understood how valuable these things would be in potions and on the market. He had enough supplies here to fund his research and studies for many years to come. No doubt Potter had more of these stored back for a rainy day as well. He folded the box back up and excused himself. He had time to tinker with the things before he had his first class of the day. He tried to ignore Potter and Draco's secret smiles as he exited the Great Hall.

~ o ~

Lord Voldemort cracked his neck, trying to work some of the tension out. His new body was still stiff from his rebirth. After the destruction of his horcrux at the hands of the Potter brat last year, he had regained the power from it and it had been just enough for him to take solid form for a short enough time to find his followers and push his rebirthing ceremony through. They had had to conduct it with that ridiculous ex-auror, Mad Eyed Moody instead of Potter but it was no great loss. Potter's time would come. Now the news he had been hearing about the brat through the grapevine intrigued him. Potter was a snake now? Dating the young Malfoy and abandoning his precious friends for Slytherins? Interesting. He would have to watch the boy for the time. Lucius had confided that they had planned to invite the teen to stay with them this summer, after he had reassured his right hand that he had no intentions to attack Potter just yet. He wanted to wait and watch this new development. Perhaps it wasn't such a stretch that Potter may join them. He would give it time. He had been told that Draco Malfoy and Potter were very close and that Gryffindor had shunned the Boy Who Lived enough for him to sleep in the dungeons. He wanted to observe how this would pay out. Perhaps he would warrant an invitation to Malfoy Manor this summer as well.

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	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Here's another one! Hope you all enjoy it! J We've got a lot of Harry/Voldemort interaction here!

Disclaimer: Nope!

~~~Chapter Ten~~~Your Taunting Smirk Behind The Glass

Harrison stirred in his sleep, his mind filled with a fog. His emerald eyes stared around the Slytherin dorms groggily, looking for the source of his waking. Blaise sleeping soundly in his bed, the other boys likewise asnooze in dreamland. So what had woken him? Draco was still by his side, not even a wild herd of centaurs could wake him now. Harrison slipped from the bed, casting a quick _Tempus_ for the time. An unholy four a.m. He winced at the time. Merlin's balls. He looked outside the window. It was a cold February morning leaving the Hogwarts grounds shrouded in fog too thick to see through. He frowned. No. The fog covered everything. Not a thing could be seen outside the window. What was this? Some sort of vision? He didn't know what made him turn around but his eyes alighted on the mirror across the room at Draco's vanity. Hazel eyes smirked out at him. The hazel eyes of Tom Riddle.

Harry couldn't contain his gasp of surprise. It wasn't really any secret to himself that he had found Tom Riddle exceedingly attractive. The young Dark Lord had embarrassingly enough starred in many a dirty fantasy since what he had dubbed The Chamber Incident. A breath ran along his neck and the reflection's smirk only widened as he stiffened. Someone was behind him but he found himself too afraid to turn around. This was a nightmare. It had to be.

"Hmm. Harry Potter...you continue to intrigue me. Tell me what's keeping you from your dear headmaster, hm?"

Tom had melted away from the mirror, leaving only the reflection of Harry himself and a handsome figure behind him that could only be the dark lord. Crimson eyes glinted back at him from pale skin and beneath a spill of lovely, long dark hair. It was so strange how well the two of them mirrored each other. The similarities were eerie. He supposed that he should be more afraid or angry that he was standing here being questioned by the enemy but somehow he wasn't. It was as if seeing this new appearance on the man, brought home how human the Dark Lord was. Despite being a big bad villain, he was no less human that Harrison himself. Voldemort's question brought him back to the situation at hand and he spared the bed he had just left a glance in the mirror. Draco's name echoed through the room much to his surprise. Voldemort chuckled when he jumped, wrapping two strong arms around him.

"We're in your head, Harry. You have no secrets here." The man took a piece of his hair in his long elegant fingers, twirling it in the appendage, "So you love Draco Malfoy. How interesting."

A cold pang of fear lanced through his heart. The windows and the edges of the mirror began to crack with ice.

"You won't hurt him will you? Please, Voldemort, he hasn't done anything!"

He was silenced by a finger on his lips. It was a gesture that startled him and only seemed to amuse his enemy further.

"Easy, the young Malfoy is in no danger from me, Harry." He chuckled, bringing a blush of embarrassment to the teen's cheeks.

"It's Harrison, actually. My name...it's Harrison."

Voldemort's smirk was full of intrigue and amusement as if he found it funny that someone corrected him. Harrison found himself blushing again at the look the Dark Lord was leveling him with. There was nothing innocent in that look and everything sensual and, dare he suggest it, lustful. The man seemed about to open his mouth and say something before he perked up as if he were hearing something Harry couldn't. His eyes were disappointed when he turned them back to the teen.

"I'm afraid I must leave you to your slumber tonight, Harrison, but rest assured, I will be seeing you again very soon." He promised, his voice a low purr.

Without further ado, he stepped back and disappeared like he had never been there. The dream started to fade at the edges and soon enough, Harrison was bolting upright in bed. Tempus told him it was a ridiculous four a.m. Damn alive. Throwing a robe on, he was out of the dorm before anyone could wake up to know the wiser. His feet slapped against the frigid dungeon stone floors as he ran to the one place where he could get answers. the portrait that hid his destination, a panther glowering out at him from the secrecy of a rainforest scenery, roared at him as he knocked harshly on it. So unnerved he was about the entire situation that he actually hissed back at it in parsle. The portrait was taken off guard and so was the rather angry, hassled looking man answering the door behind it.

"Mr. Potter, what in Merlin's name do you think you are doing darkening my doorstep so early in the morning? Do I not have to deal with your presence enough during the day?" Severus hissed, his onyx eyes flashing in anger.

Harrison was not cowed by his anger and harsh words.

"Please, sir! I need your help. I don't know who else to go to except for you and Lucius." He plead, his expression full of desperation.

The fact that he had mentioned Lucius seemed to immediately calm the man and send the message how serious it was. It could only deal with a handful of things if he'd thrown Lucius into the list of people to go to for help. Draco, Dumbledore or the Dark Lord. Severus was doubting it had anything to do with Draco. He would have gone to Narcissa for that.

"Come inside. Quickly." The Potion's Master said, once again glad for the distinct lack of portraits in this part of the castle.

"So the Dark Lord visited you in your sleep? And you say that he had a new younger body?" Severus asked, sipping a cuppa calmly.

Harrison nodded, cupping his coffee as if it would hold his sanity together. Lucius had been fire called not long after he had told Severus his story and he was made to retell it all to his friend's father. The two men were sitting in pensive silence. Lucius looked pristine as ever even at 4:30 in the morning. Harrison was secretly glad for his presence. It was soothing and gave him a measure of comfort. Severus as well. He couldn't ask for two better men to look up to.

"And you said that he didn't seem to want to kill you?" Lucius asked, his eyes telling that he knew more than he was letting on.

"He said he was...interested in me. That he found me intriguing. He asked me about Draco and how I felt about him." He explained, determined to keep his cool now that he had two capable men to help him figure this all out.

Lucius and Severus shared a knowing, confused look.

"You don't think...?" Lucius asked, his brows arched in surprise.

Severus's face was set into a stony frown. It made Harrison somewhat concerned to see that expression there. What was happening?

"Surely not. Nonetheless, it couldn't hurt to assume until we know for sure."

He just wished he knew what the two were discussing. It was about him and they were talking about him right in front of him. Unlike the headmaster, though, he knew that the two of them were only thinking in his best interests. He suddenly wished Narcissa were here with her soothing nature and her lovely laughter. He wondered if it would be strange if he wrote to her.

"Very well, Mr. Potter. I want you to come here every Tuesday and Thursday after dinner for Occlumency lessons until further notice. I fully expect you to keep up with your studies as diligently as I have come to expect from you as of late. One tardy or sign of laziness and you will be on your own." Severus said without room for argument or defiance.

"Yes, sir." Harrison said, his eyes finding Lucius as he strode towards the fireplace to go back home, "Lucius?" The blonde man looked back at him with a questioning glance. Harry suddenly found himself feeling unsure and embarrassed, "Would...would it be alright if I wrote to Narcissa?" Silver eyes glinted in amusement and the man turned back to him calmly for a moment.

"I think she would enjoy nothing more, Harrison."

The teen went back to the Slytherin dorms with a smile.

~ o ~

That night would not be the first night that the Dark Lord visited him in his dreams. The man "dropped by" at least once a week for a chat. Draco, after getting over his fear that the Dark Lord would kill him from afar, found this exceedingly amusing. Harrison wasn't so sure. Sure, the man had a wit that often had him in stitches and a brilliance that astounded him. He had learned so much from him. Despite their somewhat odd, often awkward relationship, Harrison was often reduced to throwing things at the amused Voldemort when he got alittle too close for comfort. That ended up being more times than not. The two of them had broken out into more mock(on the smirking Dark Lord's part, at least) duels than he cared to think about with Harrison coming out the loser in them all, of course. What else was he supposed to do? Voldemort had about sixty years head start on him. At least he had old jokes he could make at him. It didn't really help in the long run but it gave him some measure of satisfaction. His lessons with Severus had begun and he was making slow progress but apparently not enough to keep the Dark Lord out of his dreams. He and Voldemort often spent the evenings just talking over trivial things. They both tried to avoid the subject of the impending war but sometimes, it was encroached upon nonetheless. Just like tonight.

"So if you know the old goat is manipulating you, then why do you stay with the Light side? Why fight for them at all?" Voldemort asked, sipping a cup of something indefinable to his mind.

Harrison gave him a short glare but got no response for the effort. He didn't usually get responses unless Voldemort wanted an excuse to get up close and personal. He was trying to avoid that scenario tonight. Once in a lifetime was enough. He folded himself into the softness of his plush chair, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

"I don't want to fight at all. I don't want to be made into a pawn. I don't want to be forced into murder. I want to live with Draco and marry him and be happy. I don't want my life ruled by one master or the other."

A wicked smirk graced his "enemy's" face.

"Mmm. You should call me master more often, love. It's so pretty coming out of those lips of yours." Harrison didn't rise to his bait, rewarding him only with an eye roll, "Never the less, it's smart of you not to trust the old man. He has more screws loose than a wrecking crew."

He grinned at the obviously muggle reference, taking a biscuit from the tray between them.

"Of course you would say that." He chuckled.

Their conversation turned to less serious things over the course of the night. Strangely enough, Harrison found himself…enjoying the company. It was much better than the Gryffindors who continued to ignore him or outright sneer in his direction. Damn them all for all he cared. He had his real friends now, he didn't need those fickle backstabbers. He broke into a big smile in anticipation for leaving Hogwarts for an entire summer at Malfoy Manor just a few short hours away. The excitement was nearly overpowering.

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	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Alrightie, here's another chapter! More Tom and Harry interaction and the arrival at Malfoy Manor!

Disclaimer: Nope!

~~~Chapter Eleven~~~ You're Still A Part Of Everything I Do

"Hey, mate..." Ron said calmly, eyeing Draco warily as they got on the Hogwarts Express.

Harrison pursed his lips, stealing himself for another fight or verbal assault as had become the norm when the three of them were in the same proximity together. The youngest Weasley male gave Draco a stiff nod, much to their surprise.

"Yes?" He asked, his eyes taking in his ex-best friend.

He felt Draco's hand touch his lower back, offering his support as best as he could at the moment. It was a soothing thing that Harrison took strength from. Hermione was standing off to the side, clearly observing this interaction intensely.

"I just wanted to say...that I've been a right bloody prat lately and that I'm sorry. I'll tell everyone else to just lay off. I'll hang out with your snake buddies. I just wanna be mates again." Ron said in an almost desperate whisper.

He looked at Draco for his silent opinion. The blonde gave an uncharacteristic, nonchalant shrug in his own consent. It was clear what his opinion was: It's your decision. Harrison gave him a bright, affectionate smile. It was nice for someone to give him the chance to make his own choices.

"Alright, Ron. I'll give you another shot. I'll see you later though, okay?" He said, giving the red head a consoling smile. The look of relief on Ron's face was one that took him off guard. He was still pondering it when he filed into a compartment with Draco, Blaise and a handful of other Slytherins.

Harrison kneeled over the toilet, heaving what his pink mouse stomach could no longer contain. The finger down his throat certainly didn't help the situation either. In between heaves, he let out heavy sobs. How could he have done this? How could he have given in and eaten so much? He had eaten everything given to him without thought for three days now. He couldn't help it...it was like when that first muffin touched his tongue, his brain had gone on autopilot and he hadn't been able to stop. Now he was paying the consequences. Dieting was the consequence they faced for exceeding the feed limit. But Draco had a soft hand on his shoulders, rubbing his back calmly. His comforting only made Harrison feel worst. He felt like he had disgraced not only himself but Draco too. He wanted to be perfect for Draco and they were supposed to be in this together. Now he had diverged from their plan, broken away from the path they had set on together. He felt like scum. Worst, he felt like one of the Dursleys. The thought brought another dry heave from his now blissfully empty stomach. He was worthless. He would have to fast all week just to make up for this one indiscretion. He snorted to himself. Indiscretion? More like a blood bath, food being the barbed wire pasta and razor blade cookies he had scarfed down his greedy gullet. He wanted to be clean and pure. He wanted to be loved and appreciated for something he had accomplished, not something that was forced on him that he barely remembered. He wanted to feel...good about himself. He wanted to feel worthwhile. A cool cloth was placed on his face, forcing a shiver down his body. Draco gave him a small, sympathetic smile, wiping his face for him of the mess. What had he done to deserve someone as wonderful as Draco Malfoy? Nothing. So now he had to earn his love. He had to earn the right be be adored by this wonderful person. His best friend helped him to bed without a word of condemnation, undressing him and wrapping him in adoring arms. Harrison drifted off into an unrestful sleep, trying to feel like he belonged in those arms and ignore the lancing ache in his throat that seemed determined to overload every other sensation..

Voldemort was waiting for him when he fell asleep. The man had a frown on his handsome face and was standing stiffly instead of his usual lazy lounging position he usually took in their ""meetings"". He wasted no time in making his confusion known. ""What's happened? I felt your distress and pain."" He said, his voice demanding his explaination. Harrison waved off his concern, going to tell him it was nothing but all that came out of his throat was a pained croak. His hand flew to his throat, grimacing at how much trying to talk hurt. Or trying to swallow. He let out a gravelly whimper. Much to his surprise, Harrison found himself suddenly horizontal, being carried bridal style over to the sofa that had suddenly appeared in place of his usual chair. He tried to keep the surprise off of his face, especially when the Dark Lord produced a blanket to wrap around him. Voldemort was...taking care of him? How peculiar. ""Well since you seem unable to keep up with decent conversation tonight, you'll just have to listen to the dulcet, sex-inducing sounds of my own voice."" The man said with a cocky smirk. Oh Merin's balls, what had he gotten himself into? He gave the Dark Lord an eyeroll to show how he felt about his arrogance but nonetheless, settled down into the cushions to listen to the man talk about his life since they had last spoke. There was plotting and dry wit, torturing insolent Death Eaters and vague talks about a trip he would be making soon. He didn't elaborate on the trip so Harrison merely wrote it off as a raid or journey to gain allies. Before he knew it, he was drifting into true sleep, lulled by the sound of his voice. ~*~ Harrison stared up into the canopy of Draco's bed, his mind lost and drifting elsewhere. Some of his fondest memories were spent in this bed. Narcissa had offered to give him a room for when he came to stay but he and Draco had politely and graciously declined. He didn't like to sleep away from Draco when he didn't have to. There was a shifting beside him as his best-friend as the blonde rolled over on his side to watch him. There was a knowledge in those molten eyes that sometimes frightened Harrison and sometimes he had come to depend on it.

"You dreamed of him again, didn't you?"

It wasn't phrased like a question. Harrison leaned forward to rest his head on Dray's arm. He always knew when he and Voldemort had had one of their "meetings". How, he wasn't sure but he always did. It was a small comfort to say the least when he didn't have to put into words why he often woke up feeling perturbed and anxious. He didn't have to give him an answer. He already knew. The end of the dream came to mind and merely thinking about it brought that lancing pain back to the forefront of his conscious. A whimper crawled up his throat, drawing more pain with it. He had thrown up too much the night before…He was certainly paying for it now. He brought a hand to his throat much as he had in the dream. Harrison could feel Draco's frown.

"Harrison? Are you alright?"

His only answer was an agonizing head shake. He'd never had strep throat but this was what he had imagined it to be like when Dudley got it every year. Dray immediately had them both out of bed and into dressing robes so they could hunt down his father. Mother would be out with Lady Zabini this morning. He took Harrison's hand softly in order to calm him and led him down the west wing of the Manor where his Father's study was. It was where the Malfoy sire would likely be at this time of day. Lucius enjoyed sitting in comparable peace in his study to read the morning paper with a coffee to start his day. Harrison gave another choked sound as if he was going to say something but opted out of it because of the pain. The dark colored wooden door came into view and Draco knocked before they walked in. He went to open his mouth to explain himself, only too soon realizing that his father had company. Very familiar company. The Dark Lord's vermillion eyes glinted at the two of them, zeroing in on their clasped hands. He took in Harrison's pale, ill looking form for a short second.

"It seems I was correct in assuming your illness of last night was more than in your mind, pet." The man said, his voice caught somewhere between a purr and a frown.

Harrison was stunned in surprise. This was the first he had seen the Dark Lord in person since his rebirth and was rather embarrassed to find that the man was just as attractive in person that he was in his dreams. Oh my. That hauntingly handsome man strode to stand before him in just a few long steps. Before Harrison knew what was happening, his cool hands were suddenly on the teen's throat, feeling gently for any obvious damage or signs pointing towards strep-throat or something similar. The Dark Lord tutted lightly, a single crease between his crimson eyes belying his frown.

"You will go see Severus immediately of course. You do not appear to have an obvious illness to explain your pain nor are you feverish, so a small check up will be run." He demanded, his words leaving no room for argument.

Too bad Harrison was going to attempt it anyways. His face flushed in irritation, ignoring Draco's warning squeeze on his hand. With much pain and a short whimper, he spoke angrily.

"I don't need a checkup and I resent you acting like my parent, _Tom._" He hissed, wishing fervently that he had used parsletongue. It probably would not have hurt as much.

The grin that split the Dark Lord's face was wicked, forcing his angry flush to turn into an embarrassed blush at the leering glint in the man's eyes.

"Oh, my sweet pet, acting as your parent is the last thing on my mind to do with you."

This invitation was an open one and even Lucius was all astonishment and amusement from his place beside his leader. Harrison tried to hide his blush behind an angry glare, though judging by Voldemort's laughter as he stormed out of the room his attempt had been unsuccessful. Draco was staring into space, wide eyed the whole way down the hallway. He seemed to be in some form of mild shock. They stopped behind a statue of some Malfoy ancestor while Harrison tried to collect himself. He gave his friend an annoyed glare as silver astonished eyes turned to stare at him like he were something amazing that had just been discovered.

"What?" Harrison barked out, seething in embarassment and irritation.

He immediately regretted his harsh word when his throat gave a painful throb.

Draco looked at him with eyes full of disbelief.

"The Dark Lord has a _thing_ for you, Harrison! He _wants_ you!"

The emerald eyed boy repressed the urge to bang his head on the statue next to him. Great. Just great. And not only had he announced his perversion to the world, Voldemort had embarrassed him in front of Lucius! He was never going to live this down. And, knowing his life, the situation got much worst when Narcissa came out of the door next to them, a bushel of lavender in her hands and a curious expression on her lovely face.

"Who wants you, Harrison?" She asked calmly, every picture of the elegance and grace that she was.

Of course Draco HAD to spill the entire scenario to her without any mind to Harrison trying to shut him up, dying of mortification in the background. Why was this happening to him? He left the two of them there, trudging to Severus's potion's lab filled with humiliation. Idly, he wondered how long it would take for Draco to realize he'd left him there.

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	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Okay sorry it's been so long for this story guys! Apologies! So enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope!

~~~~Chapter Twelve~~~

Apparently, it hadn't taken long at all. Hence the reason that I was sitting beside a disgruntled and pouting Malfoy heir while Severus swept around the dim potions lab like an ominous specter. The room was not nearly as dank as the man's lab in Hogwarts. In fact, I was coming to find it a pleasant reprieve. Rather than the cool chill of the dungeons across my skin, I found the room was pleasantly cool, though not like the stifling dreary heat of the Divination room. In retrospect, it seemed a place the agile, fast paced man was more suited for. Severus certainly seemed less cantankerous than he would normally be at the school. The five ongoing potions the man had simmering were lightly boiling, sending a series of interesting fumes into the air, not all wholly unpleasant. The man did not seem pleased that I had not come to him of my own volition, rather had been forced to come by the Dark Lord now threatening to follow up on his "check up" personally. He was collecting different diagnostic and healing charms from around the room, setting them down beside me on the table he had me sitting on.

"I do hope this is the last time for quite awhile that I see you in this context, Mr. Potter. Ill bodies do not produce healthy Malfoy heirs after all." He said silkily, skillfully ignoring the looks shot between Dray and I.

We hadn't told anyone we were just friends now. Oops. Draco seemed unconcerned by it, however, so I let the thought pass by unheeded. We had made a pact and it seemed that we were bound and determined to see it through. The blonde squeezed my hand with a soft but tense smile. It brought to me a sense of security that I hadn't felt moments ago. Dray stood by me. As long as I had Draco, I could handle anything that the Light or horny Dark Lord's threw at me. The potion's master continued with his analysis, unaware of my internal epiphanies and monologues.

"Your electrolytes are imbalanced. Your esophagus and salivary glands, as well as surrounding tissue, are suffering from a reflux of stomach acid wearing away at them. This is the reason for your pain." Severus' lips pursed into a thin line, looking between the two of us shrewdly. His onyx eyes were knowing as they bore into his godson and I, "Now I know that the two of you know what your are doing and far be it from me to interfere with your base pubescent desires. _But_…I ask you, I won't demand or beg, but I ask you, please, next time you begin feeling any fatigue, weakness, discomfort or pain, come to me before it get s to this point," he gestured to my pained throat somewhat irritably but I knew his aggravation was more from worry than true anger. Severus was a good man, "Before it gets this damaging."

We both nodded, sufficiently cowed into subservience. He was just worried. Severus was worried that the habits we got into now would really hurt his only godchild. Did he secretly fear that I would influence Dray for the worst? That I would hurt him? Silver eyes looked over at me, his brow creased with concern for my wellbeing. A cold feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I would never hurt Draco…We had to stop the throwing up. That only left starving. I had no room for making mistakes anymore. In no words at all, his gaze conveying it all, he was trusting me to take care of Dray when he could not, to do what was best for the boy we both loved. In that moment, Severus and I forged a tender understanding between one another. I wouldn't let him down.

~ o ~

Voldemort was waiting when I fell into a fitful, uneasy sleep. You'd think he would just wait for the morning but oh, no. Merlin forbid he wait a few extra hours for me to get some well deserved, potions master ordered rest. The man was wearing black silk pants that managed to pull off the look of slacks and a loose white shirt that fell open in a rather blatant display of a triangle of the man's pale chest. His longer dark hair spilled across his shoulders, curling slightly as they dried from the shower. Crimson eyes were boring into me heavily as the Dark Lord swirled a glass of ruby wine in hand. Much to my mortification, I didn't find this display unpleasant at all. I choked down the faint blush that seemed determined to undermine me at the sight. If the Dark Lord's smirk was anything to judge by, my efforts had not been as discreet as I'd hoped.

"I'm assuming that Severus fixed you up proper, _Harrison_?" It was absolutely a crime against nature how he could make someone's name sound so luscious just by speaking it aloud.

I had to fight to keep my face blissfully, unremarkably blank. To be honest, it took some effort to keep my eyes from wandering. What? I was a hormonal teenage boy! What'd he expect? No. I was not going to do this to myself. He was the Dark Lord for Merlin's sake. I was not going to start thinking he was attractive. That was just too strange for comfort.

"Severus is a superior potion's master and a good man." I said by way of reply.

A plate of milk and biscuits appeared at my side and I eyed them warily. Could you gain weight from dream cookies? It wouldn't surprise me. Cookies were the devil even in my dreams. Voldemort seemed surprised by my words but he nodded in agreement, sipping his wine as if he were the centerfold for Aristocrats-R-Us.

"He is indeed. How are you feeling?"

I still really didn't understand this whole interest Voldemort had in me. Sure I was the Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die but wasn't he supposed to be trying to kill me and not get in my pants? Last I checked Ted Bundy didn't decide midway through, that he wanted to sleep with his prey, not kill it. So what in Merlin's great saggy balls was going on? I ignored his question in favor of the direct approach. Slytherin discretion be damned.

"Look, we've been having these conversations almost the entire year now and I never really have gotten a straight answer from you. What is exactly is it that you want from me? Aren't you suppose to be trying to off me? Why are you being so…" I merely gestured at the scrumptious looking man before me.

This whole We're-Going-To-Play-Nice-Until-Further-Notice thing was really wearing on me. The wicked grin that spread across his handsome sculpted face was sinful, putting me instantly on guard. His crimson eyes seemed to be drinking me in just as surely as the wine in his hand. It was an embarrassingly flattering gaze. It made me feel…beautiful. I shifted under his stare, looking down to make sure my clothes were fitting to their best nervously. I was too old to be falling apart under his stare like this! What would Draco say? Oh yeah. '_The Dark Lord WANTS you!'_ How could I forget?

"I've…revised my plans for you, young Harrison. I have much more enjoyable and productive plans for you now." Voldemort said offhandedly as if he weren't just deciding to end a decade long feud on a whim.

It earned him a disbelieving raised eyebrow on my part. How else was I supposed to take this?

"Oh really?"

His smoldering scarlet gaze only raked over me once more. It wasn't difficult to deduce what sort of plans he had in mind for me. I couldn't stop the disconcerting flush from rising to my cheeks. He stood from his chair, slowly pacing towards me, that gaze never leaving me. The urge to put my chair between the approaching Dark Lord and I was almost irresistible. Like a moronic Gryffindor though, I held my ground. Voldemort placed on hand on one arm of the chair and leaning his body over me so that he blocked off any possible hope of escape. His face was inches from mine, his eyes scalding my skin. He was so close…His remaining hand tangled in my hair with a sort of kinky tug though his fingers were deft and oddly soft on my scalp.

"I have more _important_ plans for you, my dear serpent. You are the only one who comes close to matching my own power. I have a place for you in my regime. A place at my side. Every Lord needs a Consort after all. Someone to rule when I am away. To take over my projects when I have to appear in battle. Someone worthy of ruling by my side." His voice was husky and had deepened as he leaned closer.

I could taste his breath on my tongue from this distance, his overwhelming magic caressing my skin even in a dream. Was I really dreaming? Was my dream about to turn into some freakish Dark Lord porno or what? He chuckled throatily, his nose brushing against my cheek as if he were some great predator scenting me out.

"This is no dream, Harrison. _Say yes…Say you'll be mine._"

Parsletongue sounded like sex on my nerve endings and dimly, outside my dream I realized, I could hear Draco calling my name.

"_Say yes…"_

What should I do? What should I say? His presence and urging me to sign my life away to him was rising a type of panic in me that I was unfamiliar with. Draco's voice only urged that panic higher. This was so much…so much at once…It was too much! Without a thought, I shoved the Dark Lord away with a cry at the same time that Draco reached out to touch me in my sleep.

"No!" I shouted and I woke up, the dream dissolving around me, the darkness fading along with a viciously grinning Lord Voldemort.

Draco jerked back as I shot up in bed gasping, my eyes wide and panicked. The blonde was quick to gather me in his arms, shushing and calming me slowly. What could I tell him? I was terrified because the man who had just a year ago wanted me dead, now singled me out as the person to rule at his side? That the Dark Lord wanted my virginity? Not exactly a conversation piece, that one. I sat huddled in Dray's arms until Narcissa came to see why we hadn't shown up for breakfast yet. I didn't tell her what I had experienced. The Dark Lord did not appear for breakfast either. It seemed he was giving me ample time to think about his offer.

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	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I'm so glad to hear from everyone who enjoyed this last chapter! It has been some time since I was able to work on Details, so I'm glad to find time between my insane schedule to write on it again. :)

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Thirteen~~~ You're Never Gonna Catch Me Cry

I considered going to Severus about the turn the Dark Lord's "interest" in me had taken. Surely this couldn't be normal behavior for the man? I mean, sure, he was a little…eclectic but to suddenly decide he was going to fancy a kid he'd been trying to kill for over a decade? Perhaps he did need a slight mental evaluation after all. The image of his victorious leer sent a quake down my spine. He had been pleased that I had refused him. That's what he had wanted all along. Why hadn't I see that before? He wanted the thrill of the chase and the eventual joy of victory. I played right into his hands and now here I was, sitting in the lounge with the man for after dinner tea and drinks with the rest of the family, glaring at him as discreetly as possible over my tea cup. Judging by his smirk, my displeasure had not gone unnoticed. Lucius was giving us both a rather strange sort of calculating glance during the conversation. I could only assume he was trying to fish out what was going on between us by our interactions with one another. Narcissa and Draco were sitting over on the chaise by the drink tray, whispering in low tones. Two Malfoys plotting away could never be a good sign for anyone involved. My eyes did stray to his exposed collar bones and sharp wrists enviously. When I turned back to the conversation at hand, the Dark Lord was eyeing me and Draco as if he were weighing us both, trying to sift through us. No doubt he probably still thought us a couple but surely he wouldn't hurt Dray? The Malfoys were his closest followers, possibly even, in a small buried part of himself, the closest the man had ever had to friends.

I don't know why that thought made me a little sad. I wonder if Tom had friends when he was younger, real friends, not just followers, if he would have become the Dark Lord at all. This time, it was me that was caught watching _him_ pensively. If he had someone just for him, someone who loved him and not just worshipped him, someone who could be his equal, would he be a softer man? I had no illusions that he would suddenly renounce his whole bid for England-domination or anything ridiculous like that. After all, the man didn't get to be a Dark Lord over night. But could he become more, I don't know, aware of what people actually feel and what his actions inspire for individuals, not just the crowd? Would he learn to see people for themselves and not just the masses awaiting his rule? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, he was not going to win this battle, that was for sure. I wasn't going to be just one more conquest for him, no matter how sexy he was. And By Merlin, if he hurt Draco in any way, trying to win this stupid little game of his, then all of hell was going to break loose.

~ o ~

I was glaring daggers at the obscene little spot on my book. I had been trying to get to sleep but my mind was too busy. I was too distracted by all of the things on my floor, my messy desk and this _fucking SPOT_ on my book. I hadn't been able to sleep until it was all cleaned and now all that was left was this bloody spot, some sort of stain, on my copy of _A Shot In The Dark: Defending Yourself In Darkness_. I think it was from a potion. Whatever it was, it was making the little bastardly stain impervious to removal and it was making me absolutely irate. I had left a grumbling, cranky Draco to sleep in order to pursue a solution to my annoyance. He had already been woken by the sound of me obsessively cleaning the room we shared. I wonder what the Dark Lord would think when I didn't show up for our nightly "chat". More like nightly attempted molestation.

I was turning into the library to find some cleaning spells when, speak of the devil and he shall appear, I nearly collided head on with the Dark Lord himself. The man was holding a book for Oriental Potion Making in hand. He was wearing a loose, light flowing black night robe with matching silk pajama pants beneath. Perhaps it was my tired, racing mind. Perhaps I still hadn't recovered my wits from my epic battle with the dread stain but for some reason the sight of Lord Voldemort in pajamas just tickled me something terrible. I broke into a wide grin, trying in vain to smother it. It seemed the whole world would be plotting to over throw me tonight. Crimson eyes filled to brimming with amusement.

"Harrison. What a pleasant surprise." His voice sounded like I had crawled into his lap rather than bumping into him in the hallway, "Finally decided to be mine at last?"

I could help the snort that erupted out of me. Sure it was inelegant and Draco would have given me a thorough tongue lashing for it if he had been conscious but it was the only appropriate response to the situation at hand.

"No, I have not suddenly lost my mind and decided that I would like nothing more than to be your plaything for the rest of my life." I told him dryly.

Voldemort chuckled, his eyes seeming to glue me into place. I felt like my feet had sunk into the very hardwood floor.

"Ahhh, so pure and virginal, love." I was so not blushing right now. That was NONE of his business, "Despite what you may have done with your dear _Draco. _And I will know everything you've done with him, one way or another." His voice was nothing but a hiss in my ear by now.

Several things ran through my mind at once. I was vaguely certain that he was in a roundabout way threatening Draco because of some sort of jealousy bullshit. I wasn't sure why he wanted me so much anyways. I certainly wasn't thin enough to really be considered beautiful. And lastly, I was not going to be some prize for him to triumph over. For the first time, really the first time, I felt the bitter taste of rage well up inside my chest. I had never felt so angry before. I didn't know if it had anything to do with the gnawing cramp in my stomach from the laxative potion I had taken to get rid of dinner or the hunger burning my insides. Maybe they scrambled my mind and made what I did next perfectly logical. Or maybe not. I leveled him with an enraged glare before shoving the insufferable man away from me. My stained book fell to the floor with an air of finality. My fevered mind wasn't registering any of this information though. I was far too angry. I was never going to let anyone hurt Dray. Never. Not even the Dark Lord himself.

"You stay the fuck away from Draco! Do you understand me? If I even think you've hurt him, threatened him, I will kill you! The rest of the world be damned, I will tear you apart!" I screamed at him, our faces mere millimeters apart.

It didn't register to me exactly how stupid screaming in the Dark Lord's face may have been until his crimson eyes flashed. I went from being in front of the Dark Lord to pain radiating up my back, the air forced from my lungs as I was harshly pinned to the wall behind me. Stars danced in front of my eyes and I heard his enraged hiss up against my cheek all at once. Dizziness made my vision swim even as I forced my eyes open to see him staring at me. His face was stoic but his eyes were brimming with fury and…amusement?

"You're so beautiful when you're angry, love. So entrancing…but make no mistake. I am the Dark Lord and I will only tolerate so much from you, do YOU understand?" He purred into my ear huskily. " You know, love, when you destroyed my diary, I received all of the memories from it. How long will you continue this farce? How long will it be until you admit that you're attracted to me?"

I gave him no response, only a short glare and a jerk, reminding him of the hand enclosed around my throat. That was also none of his business. My crush on Tom Riddle was a secret I had kept even from Draco. It was somewhat of a dark point of embarrassment for me. For Voldemort to know about it…It was just too humiliating for me to even begin to deal with. His bow shaped mouth broke out into a leering smirk. I only had a mere second to contemplate what he was going to do before Voldemort's mouth was on my own. The kiss was rough and passionate and despite being unwilling, I couldn't help but be somewhat…aroused by it. I had never been kissed like that before. It was such a new, overwhelming sensation for me that even after he left me there against that wall and walked away, I was staring forward, still so overwhelmed by it all. My brain felt like fireworks had gone off in my skull and melted my mind into a puddle inside my head. My knees where shaking and I didn't trust them to carry me back to Draco's room at the moment. My book lay forgotten on the floor.

~ o ~

I did not tell Draco about my run in with the Dark Lord. I didn't tell anyone and yet the next day Severus was eyeing me shrewdly over the breakfast table. It was as if he could tell something was off with me. Damn. I had spent the better part of the morning trying to compose myself so that it wouldn't seem as if anything untoward had occurred. Apparently, I wasn't doing such a good job. Narcissa beamed at me across the table, sipping her jasmine tea happily.

"Harrison, dear, isn't your birthday in a few days?" She asked cheerfully, setting her tea cup down with a soft tinkle.

I gave her a bright smile, skillfully ignoring the Dark Lord's presence as the man joined us for breakfast.

"It is, indeed. On the thirty-first, in fact."

She made a small sound of interest before going back to her meal. Draco and his mother shared a short look over the table but I was far too busy ignoring a smirking dark wizard and Severus' stare to put much thought into it. Perhaps I should have paid more attention to my surroundings.

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	14. Chapter 14

A/n: So sorry this chapter took so long! It's got Harry's birthday party, so enjoy and don't forget to read and review!

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Fourteen~ Bring On the Wonder, Bring On the Song

Let it never be said that Malfoys could not throw parties. Unfortunately, I just happened to be the subject of this talent which was why I was now sitting in my room (yes, not he one I shared with Draco much to my dismay) having my long hair fiddled with by an old woman who, while kind, looked as though she would bite the proverbial dust at any moment. Narcissa had picked out my entire ensemble and demanded that no one would get to see me before my grand entrance at the party. Party was a bit of an understatement, as it were. Even without the distinguishment of being the Boy Who Lived, once Narcissa Malfoy threw a ball for you, you would never need another socialite gathering again. Me being me, my Malfoy thrown birthday bash was the event of the year, apparently. Whoopee. Now don't think I'm ungrateful or anything. The Malfoys were the best thing that ever happened to me. They treated me like I belonged. Draco and I often laughed that Narcissa would adopt me or see the two of us married just to keep me as part of their family. I loved them all like they were my own. I often daydreamed that Narcissa would do just that. However, anyone who knew me knew that I cringed at being the center of attention. I couldn't fault her though.

This was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. The door to my room opened quietly and the gnarled hands stilled on my hair. It had ended up half pulled up in a complicated knot of braids and the other spilling down my back like a curtain. It was even longer than before somehow. The joys of magic. I could hear the shuffling footsteps of my handmaid leave the room. A smirking Dark Lord looked down at me in the mirror. I will admit with shameless abandon that tonight of all nights, he looked scrumptious. He was covered from the neck down in dark green, regal robes fit for only royalty and the man himself, fine silver thread etchings running along the seams. I stared at him through the reflection, schooling my face into a mask of impassivity.

"Your risking Narcissa's wrath, you know. No one is supposed to see me before the party." I kept my voice as uninterested as possible.

I'd like to thank the academy. He scoffed lightly, his vermillion eyes tracing me as one would examine a fine painting. His hand found my unbound hair playful, running the elegant digits through the silky mass.

"A risk worth taking, I'm sure." His voice came in a breathy purr against my head as he leaned down to kiss my crown.

Okay, so I blushed. Sue me. His fingers were doing wicked things on my scalp and I found myself quickly melting into a puddle resembling something one would find in the jars in Severus' storage cabinet. Playing with my hair had always been a great weakness of mine. Much to my embarrassment, it seemed one that Voldemort was eager to exploit. I struggled to keep the sound of content pleasure from his ears but my effort was fruitless. I looked up at him in the mirror and watched his eyes fill with a hunger that made my blush deepen and creep down my neck quickly. This just got, if possible even more awkward than before. I still wasn't sure why I got so flattered by his attentions. After all, it could never end well. I was still smarting over the encounter we'd had only a handful of days ago, alone in that hallway in the middle of the night. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it later when I was having some "private time" while Dray was out. I was a hormone filled teenager after all and I'd never before felt anything like I did when he kissed me up against the wall that night. I still thought about it at night.

"Well it isn't for me. You should go or your going to get me scolded." I pouted, hoping he wouldn't see through my rather futile attempt to get him to leave.

I wasn't going to have anymore embarrassing encounters with him just half an hour before my birthday party started. So not going to happen. Well if he had anything to say about it, it would. He tipped my head back to look up at him with a smirk.

"Trying to get rid of me, darling? Very well. Since it is your birthday, I will indulge you for the time."

Really? It seemed too easy. Slowly, he lowered his head and gave me another one of those brain melting, addicting, cocaine kisses that had my whole existence narrowing to those lips on my own. He had slipped out of the room silently before I could even gather the sense in my scrambled mind. Damn that cheeky Dark Lord!

~ o ~

The ball was a swinging blur of laughs and excitement and faces all around. I had never had so much fun! Of course there were the few amorous suitors that asked to dance but dray stuck by me all night, always there to sweep me into a waltz if I was feeling uncomfortable. Everyone was dressed in their finest silk gowns and gorgeous styles. It was like a fairytale burst right out of a storybook for my night only. Dray was dressed fashionable in a pair of blue dress robes that brought out his eyes and flawless complexion to perfection. Narcissa was dancing with Lucius, wearing a lovely crimson gown. The color reminded me of a certain Dark Lord who stood nearby. He was nursing a glass of the finest scarlet wine and pretending to pay attention to the simpering politicians at his side though the way his eyes tracked me around the dance floor was telling. I fought the blush that rediscovered itself when the man raised a glass to me as Draco led me around the dance floor. I found my gaze led towards him several time over the course of the night. Dray followed my gaze with a surprised grin.

"You seem very interested in our Lord this evening, Harrison. Care to confess something to your dearest and most beloved friend?" His voice was practically infested with amusement.

I snorted though my blush did not dissipate. Though my words said one thing, he managed to gleam something else entirely from my demeanor.

"Oh yes, I used your image for wanking material last night, hope you don't mind." I said sarcastically.

Leave it to Draco to latch onto anything resembling a compliment though. He preened under my words, sarcastic though they may be.

"Ah, I knew you still wanted me, dearest. I am just too much for your lovely mind to resist!"

I laughed though my eyes did follow his movements instead, leaving thoughts of the Dark Lord for a moment to observe my friend. Dray really was beautiful. he was retaining his thin, fae-like perfection while I had lost no weight at all. In fact, I could even be convinced that I had gained weight since our last challenge and weigh in. He noticed my slight frown immediately.

"What's wrong, Harrison?" He asked me with concern lacing his voice like barbed wire.

I gave him a shallow shrug nonchalantly.

"If I had known about the party, I could have fit a little better in my robes is all. You look amazing." He gave me a sad, slow smile, letting me know without words that he understood how I felt completely. I loved that about him. Without even thinking about the vengeful Dark Lord watching nearby, I accepted the chaste, loving kiss that Draco placed on my lips. It didn't seem that I was ever going to stop blushing. The next time the Malfoy heir spun me around, I found myself pierced with a look that said clearly the two of us would be talking. His eyes told me very plainly that he would be making the next move. The problem was, I wasn't sure if I was ready for what came next. Would Draco be caught in the backlash? The month before school started up again suddenly seemed like an eternity to wait.

~ o ~

I closed my trunk with a light sigh, trying not to draw the attention of a rather sulky Draco sitting on our bed. His eyes were downcast, his mouth set in a pout and his arms crossed. Altogether, he looked like a sullen child who didn't get the candy they wanted from the store. I just shook my head at his disgruntled expression. Dray was going to Italy with his parents in a few days for a conference that Lucius was required to make an appearance at and what better first impression than with his doting family. I had begged off of this trip blessedly. I wanted to spend some time on my own before we went back to Hogwarts, composing myself and gathering myself for the eventual confrontation with my "friends" and Dumbledore. I had reserved a room at the Leaky Cauldron where I wouldn't be disturbed for a week or so. When Dray got back from Italy, we could do the rest of our school shopping together and head to the platform on the first. I gave him a smile, as I collected the rest of my things and had Franzi, Dray's house elf, shrink them down for me.

"I wish you wouldn't pout so much, Dray. We'll see each other again in a week, promise. It isn't like I'm going away forever or anything."

"Or you could just come with us. Then I wouldn't have to pout at all." He groused unhappily.

I snorted, giving him a smile. He could be so spoiled sometimes. But the longer I knew him, the more endearing it was. It was just so…Draco. I gave him a quick kiss before, stalking over to the fireplace.

"Do try not be so sullen, love. Send me a fire call if you get too bored, yeah?" I winked at his put out expression and flooed to my room in Diagon Alley.

~ o ~

My lodgings at the inn were no where near as homey or glamorous as those at Malfoy Manor and I found myself missing the warmth of the manor and the family I loved. It was sufficient for my time there, however. I did my nightly exercises, had some fruit for dinner and took a shower before heading to bed. I wanted to get to bed early so I could wake up for the Alley's opening tomorrow to avoid the crowds. No doubt the less time I had to spend under a glamour, the better. I should have asked Pansy or Blaise to accompany me. I closed my eyes on the dim, plain room in the Leaky Cauldron, wishing I had Dray there by my side. Little did I know that when I opened my eyes a short time later, I wouldn't be in the inn any longer. Nor in fact would I be alone.

"Hello, Harrison…"

I stared up into the crimson eyes of the Dark Lord, sitting on the bed beside me. It wasn't the bed I had fallen asleep in, though. It was lavish and admittedly very comfortable. The heated gaze the man beside me was piercing me with, however, was heavy enough to make me fidget in undisguised discomfort and embarrassment. The way he looked at me had my whole body blushing in a rather alarming way. Perhaps I was maybe even…_enjoying_ how he was looking at me? I wasn't sure to be honest, though I think if I said no, I would be painted a liar.

"We have a very serious problem, my dear Harrison. How are you going to fix it for me?"

My heart sped as he bent over me. What was going on?

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	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Ahhhh! So we finally have it! The confrontation between Voldemort and Harrison that we've all been waiting for! ) Oh yeah. Lol. So the usual warnings apply for this chapter but with a little more emphasis. There will be SLASH! For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, that means that there will be SEX BETWEEN TWO MEN! If I have to hear about how you thought this story is disgusting because of it or how immoral you think I am, I will report you immediately, no questions asked. Constructive criticism is not the same thing as outright bigotry.

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Fifteen~~~ _Sometimes all I can do is weep, weep, weep, With all this rain falling down._

"_We have a very serious problem, my dear Harrison. How are you going to fix it for me?"_

_My heart sped as he bent over me. What was going on?_

I gulped, trying to hide my nervous excitement from the man but those eyes never missed anything, especially when it came to me. I couldn't even hide the light arousal I was feeling beneath the sheets. Well damn it. A heavy, triumphant smirk spread over his kissable mouth. It was the kind of look one got when they knew that they were seconds away from getting what they wanted. I gave him a half hearted glare. I had no illusions about what Voldemort wanted now. It was all over his face, in his tightly wound muscles as if he were just waiting for the opportunity to lose control. But Merlin forbid the man ever let himself lose control. I was starting to think that he got off on holding back. I sat up, quickly, finding myself nearly nose to nose with the frustrating wretch that was the Dark Lord.

"Whatever you're thinking, forget it. I love Draco."

His smirk turned frigid and cruel in the time it took me to blink. It slid over his face like a serpent, a frightening thing with a hint of poison lacing it like honey in tea. Arsenic sugar. I knew to fear that smile for it never meant well for anyone I loved.

"Yes, pet. We must talk about our dear Draco. You see, I don not like threats. I like them significantly less when they threaten those things that belong to me."

I frowned at that, feeling petulant about the whole affair. I wasn't a toy for anyone's amusement, especially the Dark Lord's. Or Dumbledore's. What was this? Come get your classic Potter. Comes in various shades. Half off! Or rather, mostly off, I thought sullenly, noting my rather embarrassing lack of clothing beneath the sheets. I'm pretty sure I had been clothed when I went to bed.

"If you hurt Draco then I will never be yours. I will fight against you until the day I die." My tone left no doubt that I would live up to my word.

I wasn't a Gryffindor for nothing. He raised an elegant eyebrow, seemingly intrigued by my declaration. What had I gotten myself into? I remembered back to my birthday ball. Dancing with Draco. Voldemort raising his glass to me as I passed. I could recognize it for what it was now. It was a statement, pure and simple. The game was on, and I had recognized it too late. He crawled over me on the bed and I fought the maddening blush that flushed my whole body. I couldn't understand how someone I had previously hated so much, could inspire such erotic emotions in me. The smirk had slid off of the Dark Lord's expression, the heat from before back in full. His eyes pinned me to the sheets, boring into my very brain, it seemed.

"_Is that right? And what would you do to keep the Malfoy heir from harm, Harrison?" _His voice was a soft hiss against my skin.

I swallowed the desire I felt at the sound of his parsletongue whispers along my collarbone. It aroused me in a way that nothing had before, a strange sort of shiver through my spine. It only now occurred to me that I found the Dark Lord attractive. Very attractive. Sleeping with him really wouldn't be such a chore after all, would it? I had a thrill of cool fear in my stomach that this was probably going to hurt but I shoved the feeling away, allowing the arousal back to the forefront.

"_You know I would do anything to protect him._" Voldemort smirked and held an odd red potion to my lips. It smelled sweet, like chocolate raspberries or ambrosia.

"This will make sure you enjoy every moment. I can't seem to stay away from you, like I wished, Harrison. At least I can make sure you get as much, if not more, out of it than I."

It was strangely…kind of him to offer. He could have just had his way with me and not cared a thing about my own pleasure but he didn't. He came prepared for me as well as himself. I decided as I allowed the delectable nectar to fill my mouth that I would remember this small kindness in the future. Voldemort had cared enough about me to ensure my pleasure as well. I never forgot it. As his mouth descended over mine, the potion took effect and I slipped into the bliss that was my first time.

~ o ~

His hands slipping down my thighs. A tongue on a hardened nipple. A hand tangled in my hair, tugging just enough to pull a groan from my throat. A gasp, not mine. Sweaty, mussed sheets. Heat everywhere and then…pain. A sharp cry soothed by a kiss. Forgotten tears silenced by veins turning molten with pleasure. A hand on my hardened, hot flesh. The potion urging me on 2, 3, 4 times. How long had I been here? The heat overcoming me once more. Pain, shooting up my spine. Blood? Where had the blood come from? Hissing, quieting and calming. A hand stroking my back. Encased in safe warmth. A satisfied sigh. Short sleep. A tongue on his chest, my skin turning hot again. Reciprocation at last. My hands finding his own flesh. Darkness.

~ o ~

I stumbled through the grate into Draco's bedroom, the room bathed in the dim light of sunset. The bathroom light was on and the moment I stepped out of the fireplace, my gasp of pain attracted Draco and Narcissa's forms from the next room. My head spun a bit. I was still wearing down the last lingering effects of the Lust Potion and despite my flesh feeling swollen and too tight all at once, it didn't stop the surge of pain from my well abused backside. Merlin, hadn't the man heard of chafing? My clothes were thrown on haphazardly, no doubt looking ridiculous yet telling all at once. Draco rushed to my side immediately, his face betraying his fear for me.

"Harry! Where the bloody hell have you been?" He nearly screeched in my ear, sounding a lot like Hermione suddenly.

It was odd. It had been a while since I had thought about my estranged friends. Hm. My curiosity was outweighed by my confusion.

"What do you mean?" I looked at Draco like he had lost his pretty little head.

Narcissa was wringing her hands like I had never seen the woman do before, sending a house elf for Lucius and a medic. A medic? Oh yeah. I looked down at the blood on my fingers, dried to a tacky substance. Really, what did I ever see in Gryffindor colors? Red looked terrible on me.

"You've been gone for two days! You didn't answer your mail or fire calls and when we went to the Leaky Cauldron to see you, you were gone! No one could find you! And now you show up looking like you've been mauled by a Chimera!" I continued to let Draco fuss over me like a mother hen while Narcissa whispered to her newly arrived husband by the door.

His eyes watched me shrewdly. Had it really been two days? No wonder I was so fucking sore. Bloody hell, Tom owed me one big time. I'm not even sure how he could keep up that sort of stamina. Wasn't he supposed to be pushing sixty? New body or not.

"Draco, darling, why don't you go make sure the house elves are preparing Harrison a good dinner. It seems as if he could use a good meal in him." Narcissa purred as Lucius approached me calmly and silently.

Dray seemed to get the hint and, rather begrudgingly, left the room. Narcissa sat down next to me on the bed, wrapping a kind arm around my waist. It looked like I had interrupted their leaving for Italy after all. Lucius's eyes took in everything about my appearance, down to the blood on my fingers.

"It was the Dark Lord, wasn't it." It was not a question. He looked torn despite his stoic expression. His Master, mentor and friend or the child he had taken in to protect.

I gave him a calm smile, waving off his internal struggle.

"It was, but have no worries, Lucius. It wasn't entirely nonconsensual, I can assure you of that. There is nothing to fear for my virtue. Despite how it may look, he treated me kindly."

He seemed to deflate with relief at my reassurance. Narcissa held up one of my hands in concern.

"But the blood…" She began but I patted her hand with a strained grin.

"It isn't mine."

Her lovely eyes widened slightly in surprise. Yes, Harry Potter gave as good as he got, that was for certain. Draco came back into the room, looking slightly winded as if he had run up the stairs. I gave him a mocking grin that seemed to reassure him. He turned to his parents, straightening himself up.

"I would like to stay home instead of going to Italy, if it is alright. I want to stay with Harrison." He said though his eyes were pleading. I smiled, glowing a little inside. Draco loved me enough to stay with me. He couldn't know how much that meant to me.

Narcissa nodded but her eyes were shrewd on my somewhat battered figure.

"Only as long as Harrison stays in bed until he is completely healed. And I mean _completely_ healed, boys. Tizzy has the Medi-Witch on her way."

I groaned inside, partially in disbelief that I would once again be confined to a bed but partially in relief since the pain in my rump was really beginning to make me feel somewhat dizzy. The smell of food suddenly filled the room and my stomach lurched with hunger. Or maybe that was why. I dug into my stuffed game hen and potatoes with zeal, only just noticing the hand cuff marks on my wrist. So the Dark Lord had some kinks, did he? I snorted, rolling my eyes.

~ o ~

In the two weeks until the first, I did not see Tom Riddle again and somehow…I think I was glad. Not seeing him made the acceptance of what he had done begin to fizzle and burn. I gave him my virginity to save Draco, despite the fact that I had enjoyed it, and I began to feel somewhat resentful for it. I should have given it to someone I would have a future with. Despite how hard I tried, I just couldn't imagine a future for me at all. It all depended on too much. How I would handle Dumbledore and Voldemort and the war. I was feeling resentful, yes. Angry and maybe not a little bit…ashamed. I didn't give Draco or the Malfoys any details, just that it hadn't been entirely non-consensual, but when Severus came to my room, ordering away the incompetent Medi-Witch, he could detect the remnants of the potions used. I pleaded him to silence. Reluctantly, he agreed. As Draco and I boarded the train back to Hogwarts, I found a dread filling my stomach. I didn't know how I knew it but everything was going to change this year. Getting on the train would be the catalyst that changed our lives forever. Not just mine, but Draco's, Tom's the Malfoy's. The end of our happy time together was coming to a close and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

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	16. Chapter 16

A/n: Okay, sorry this chapter took so long, ladies and gents. I've been, as alot of us have been, distracted with finals and things as of late. SO enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except an ugly cute dog and a laptop.

Chapter Sixteen- I'm Getting Tired and I Need Something To Rely On

I walked as a man to the gallows, Dray at my side and equally as cowed. After the incident with our resident Dark Lord, Severus had "requested" our presence in his private rooms. We both knew that we were in for a stern talking to and it all had to do with the two days that I had spent with Voldemort. The halls of the dungeon had never seemed colder. We both approached the painting hiding Severus's quarters from view. It was a portrait of an empty wooded clearing at midnight and I raised an intrigued eyebrow at the yellow eyes watching us from the brush. Trust Severus to have something frightening and elusive guarding his home. Draco winced at the image, giving me an uncomfortable glance.

"Dies Irae." He whispered at the portrait swung open.

Day of wrath. How fitting. There were mugs of tea and biscuits waiting for us in the living room while Severus swooped around like a bat out of hell. Treats and niceties we all knew that none of us would touch.

"Sit." The man barked from his perch by the lab entrance.

He gestured for us to take the seats provided and like good little puppies, what else could we do but obey. Severus was a menacing individual when he wished it, even for Draco. The Potion's Master joined us within the moment, his eyes flicking to the untouched biscuits. His eyes were unsurprised though. The man looked as if he were reigning in his irritation and…worry? Thus far, Severus seemed to know what we were doing and yet he did not try to hinder us. Why was that? While one part of me insisted that it was only a little diet, that we weren't doing anything wrong, another part of me huddled the secret close to me in the darkness like some secret sin not to know the light of day. So why hadn't he said something to us? Tried to dissuade us like any other teacher would if they knew we had been starving and upchucking our dinners? There was a familiar darkness, a familiar secret in the obsidian eyes boring down on me that shined an obscure light. Had Severus perhaps, once been as we are now? Had he once sat in front of another teacher, insisting that he was fine, his stomach still spasming from throwing up dinner? It was something I would have to ponder on in the future. I watched him take a long sip of his tea, taking strength from the brew before confronting us. Severus seemed as if he were having some sort of private, inward struggle that I did not attempt to distract him from. Sharp as ever, though, he gathered himself quickly.

"Mr. Potter, I know what occurred between you and the Dark Lord this summer." And here came the dread conversation. I didn't say anything. After all, it's not as if I could deny it, "I don't suppose you cared to think about the physical consequences your being sexually active could have on not only yourself but Draco as well. Yes, this applies to you as well, which is why I included you in this little tete a tete."

Needless to say, I was somewhat taken aback by the turn the conversation was taking. Was Severus about to give us The Talk? Dear Merline, surely not. This was going to get humiliating, I could already tell.

"I'm not sure I follow, sir." I said slowly, glancing briefly at the curiously pink tinge Draco's cheeks had taken.

Severus gave a longsuffering sigh, setting his teacup down calmly.

"For wizards, Potter, it is possible and not altogether uncommon for males to become impregnated. I am rather certain that by now I don't have to tell you how more of you little barbaric whelps are made." Yup. From 0 to humiliating in .5 seconds.

"No, sir." The remembrance of my time in the Dark Lord's tender care made me shift in my seat.

I had a flash of arching against a hard, sweaty body, my legs wrapped around a firm waist while the feeling of hot flesh pumping in and out of my body sent a thrill up my spine and a rush of red to my face. The dungeon room was suddenly feeling unbearably warm. Male pregnancies? That was certainly news to me. We certainly didn't learn THAT in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Why hadn't Voldemort mentioned that? It was kind of important to know if he was planning on dosing me up every few months! The knowledge that it probably wouldn't take too many doses to get me willingly into his bed brought a resurgence of red to my face and neck. Merlin, this was embarrassing. Severus raised an eyebrow, seemingly knowing the direction my thoughts were taking.

"I don't pretend to be ignorant to your adolescent habits and vices. I have always been of the mindset that you must make your own decisions and learn from them on your own. However, I feel it is my duty to make you aware of the facts. A pregnancy causes untold amounts of strain on the body and if the two of you continue on the path you have chosen, it is very likely that the strain would be fatal."

The hot embarrassment that I had been feeling previously escaped me in a cold rush, like water down a fall. Fatal…I could die from having sex? Draco could die? I could lose him forever…We shared a devastated, long glance. We both knew what an issue this could become, for him more than myself. We were the only heirs to long and very influential families. Having heirs was rather vital to the continuation of our lines. Dray at least had Blaise, who could carry their heir if needed. But me…I was uncertain where the Dark Lord and I stood and very certain that Voldemort would never bottom, let alone allow himself to be impregnated. I could see my dreams of a family seeping from my grasp, sand through a sieve. There was always adoption, I suppose…

"I must impress upon the two of you the severity of your situation. I won't attempt to assume that the two of you would actually abstain from sexual activities, so I beg you both to come to me for a Contraceptive Potion. It is a simple thing to be taken once every few months but a precaution that _will_ save your lives. I will teach you both to brew it yourselves after your first dose. I don't have time to be servicing you at every whim." Severus sneered but it was lacking in it's usual snarky tone. Draco and I returned to our rooms silently, the same question unanimously echoing in our minds. What now?

~ o ~

"Harry! Oi! Mate!" Came the shouted call down the corridor.

I steadily tried to ignore it, pretending I didn't hear the shouts that made heads turn in the hallways. Was it so much to ask that I could get to class unaccosted? Draco was off speaking to Blaise about some project or another for Charms and I had offered to go on ahead and save us some seats in Defense. I was feeling raw and brittle, like I was consistently balancing the border of hysterics. The past few weeks had simply been too much. The not wholly consensual nights with Tom and the bitter resentment that had continued to fester within me, the constant battle with myself over trying to lose more weight and keep up with my exercise regime despite the near bone weary exhaustion I was feeling half the time, and finally, the news of our fatal pregnancy possibility that had been delivered only days ago. How much more could I take before my will was broken? I'd been getting to sleep later and later each night, always finding something to do to avoid the darkness that would no doubt bring to life the connection between Tom and I. I didn't want to see him. I was fairly certain of that, but was it because I was hurt or because I feared what else he had in store for me?

"HARRY!" Came the final shout and I felt my irritation spike furiously, barely able to hold onto my mask of pleasantness around the other students.

I had been getting angry so quickly lately…I spun around so quickly, I nearly whacked Justin Finch-Fetchley in the face with my book bag. It took all I had to keep from glaring at the boy puffing to catch up with me.

"Hello Ron. Doing well?"

He gave a sheepish grin, shrugging his bag further up his shoulder. Hermione was coming down the hallways behind him to join us. I honestly wasn't sure how to feel about all of this. I was still somewhat leery.

"Been alright. Christmas hold are coming up soon. Fancy coming to stay with Mione and me? Everyone's gonna be there." The red head said cheerfully.

I winced inwardly. Everyone including Dumbledore, no doubt. Everyone but Draco. Those things hung unsaid between us and Hermione was assessing the situation keenly. She offered a smile of her own though it was a timid one as if she were just as uncertain as I was. It made me a little less tense about it all to know that our nervousness was mutual.

"Even I'll be there. Mum and Dad have a conference to go to in the States, so I'm staying at Grimmauld Place as well. All of the Weasleys will be there, and Remus as well."

I wasn't sure what or where Grimmauld Place was but it wasn't the Burrow that was for sure. Then again, with so many extra people, I don't imagine they would have all fit in the Burrow anyways. I gave them a half smile that I hope was as consolingly apologetic as I aimed for. I don't know why I was so anxious to avoid spending time alone with the two of them. Maybe because if they knew what Draco and I had been doing, who I had been with, then they could blow everything up in my face just with a few well placed words to the Headmaster. I didn't want to be forced to stop dieting. I liked it. I was getting rather good at it, after all. And despite my mixed feelings on Tom right now, I didn't want to accidentally give something away that would reveal his location or somehow unknowingly betray the man's trust. If Dumbledore knew that I had _slept_ with the Dark Lord, than the metaphorical shit would hit the fan.

"Sorry guys, but Narcissa's already invited me to stay over with them this Christmas. It'd be poor manners indeed if I refused her invitation after already accepting it."

Ron looked unhappy to say the least but seemed unwilling to argue the matter, thank Merlin. Hermione was watching me like a hawk, seeming to puzzle something out in her mind before I was allowed to excuse myself. It was her scrutiny that I feared almost more than anyone's. If anyone could piece together what I had been up to, it would be the smartest witch of our age. Her mind could bring down everything I loved around my ears if she connected the right dots. Nervously, I rushed back to the safety of Draco's presence, him snogging Blaise be damned.

The next day would be the first reports coming of the sighting of the dreaded Azkaban escapee Sirius Black in Hogsmeade Village. So close to the castle, I knew that this could not bode well for someone. Unfortunately, that someone was me.

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	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Okay, so it's been a little bit since my last update and I apologize. This story really just seems to be dragging for me but it hits some very personal notes so do forgive me. This chapter however, is an important one and a nice long one. It can safely be marked as the beginning of the end, the turning point in the entire story. After all, as our little Harry said, "I didn't know how I knew it but everything was going to change this year. Getting on the train would be the catalyst that changed our lives forever."

Disclaimer: Nope!

Chapter Seventeen~~ _It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace._

"Excuse me?"

I had gone stiff and silent in my rage. How could they do this? How was this even…legal! It was preposterous!

"With Voldemort's return, we have to concern ourselves with your safety, Harry. With keeping you protected from Death Eaters."

I could hear the unspoken words. _Protected from Malfoy. Protected from…yourself._

"Bullshit." My harshly hissed word, I could tell, startled Mrs. Weasley and Dumbledore's lips pressed into a thin line. Fortunately, neither berated me for my language. I'm not sure what I would have done if they had, "That is complete and utter bullshit."

An aged white eyebrow raised on the wizened face across the desk and I sneered at the Headmaster, imagining any number of terrible things happening to him. I imagined giving Tom his "secret" Headquarters location. Imagined him choking on one of his damned candies. Imagined him blowing up with how many he scarfed down his fat fucking face.

"Nevertheless, Mr. Potter, there is an escaped convict out for your life and we must take precautions. Sirius Black is of relation to the Malfoy's so we decided that it would be unsafe as he may have access to their home."

Oh so he'd gone to using last names did he? Good fucking riddance! I didn't want him fouling my name up, anyways. It was something precious to me that my mother had given me. It was my identity and no one could steal that from me. I'd looked up my birth certificate in my Gringott's vault during the summer and held the precious paper close in my trunk, on the very last page of my photo album. _Harrison James Potter. _

I didn't give a damn about Sirius Black and everyone knew that the Malfoy's loved me like their own. They would never let anyone hurt me, no matter who it was. The image of Lucius's eyes when I had come home from Tom's "loving" embrace came unbidden to my mind. He'd looked angry, upset. His eyes reflected the thoughts that he would never share. The worry that he had failed me, had caused my capture and subsequent assault. He worried that the very man that he believed in, that he had bled for and killed for, had hurt a child under his care. The relief in his silver eyes when I reassured him that it had not be wholly unconsensual had chipped my heart. It had created the smallest of breaks that, little did I know, over time would come to spread and fracture like lines in the cracking earth. I had no sense of this then. Only the rage that my options, that my freedom had been stolen from me so callously, without any thought to my own opinions on the matter. It burned at my insides like an acid. A hot burning thing that coiled like an unrestrained basilisk in my hardening heart.

"You mean YOU decided! Shouldn't I have some say in what happens to me? I'm my own person! I don't belong to you!" I shouted, my anger taking physical shape and striking out at the various whimsical contraptions in the room. Several burst or exploded while others found themselves flung into walls, breaking on contact. Few survived the onslaught.

Dumbledore's eyes were hard glints of ice though he remained calm. Finally, I was getting to the old bastard. Molly was pleading for me to stop but I ignored her in favor of staring down the Headmaster. As far as I was concerned, she was just as guilty as he was.

"You are so like a child, Harry." His condescending, patronizing tone, enraging me further. A large crack appeared in his mahogany desk, warning him against going further. For once, Dumbledore heeded the advice. He straightened some papers on his desk, breaking eye contact with me at last, "You will go to Grimmauld Place with everyone else for the holidays. The Ministry has granted the Weasley's temporary custody of you during the term breaks. They seemed to think it best considering your past history with their family. No doubt your friends will be happy to spend some time with you. Don't you want to see your friends, Harry?"

I didn't dignify him with a response. I sneered at them all, leveling Molly and the silent Arthur with a glare so filled with rage that the matron flinched back, seeking comfort in her husband's arms. Arthur's eyes were thoughtful as if, by witnessing this encounter, he had come to some vital realization. Almost as if he realized that by trying to do right, they had done something wrong…I didn't press for more information. I walked to the door, kicking one of the irritating instruments that continued to sputter even on the floor and in pieces. It cracked against the wall and died at last. I turned to give the Headmaster one last withering, disgusted look.

"People throw away their toys once they tire of them, Dumbledore. Don't think I don't remember that."

I left them to ponder my words and the devastation I had reeked in the room. I had a blonde to console and a family to alert. Someone had to tell Lucius and Narcissa not to expect me. Someone had to tell Draco that he would be alone again this holiday.

~ o ~

I did not speak to anyone as we all walked into Grimmauld Place. I merely listened to the rooming arrangements and walked to my assigned space, my aura a mass of fury and anger. Ron and Hermione had been blissfully silent throughout. No one else had tried to break my stony silence, thankfully. It seemed that many of the children of the newly revealed Order of the Pheonix were staying over the holidays as well. For their safety of course. Or for mine? Were they trying to inadvertently save me from some imagined foe by surrounding with "friends"? The only foe I could see that they needed to "save" me from was Draco and he threatened them more than he threatened me. My room was empty and blissfully silent. I was blessed with being one of the few who didn't have to bunk with anyone. Thank Merlin for small miracles.

My thoughts turned back to Draco and the Malfoy home. Would Tom be there now, fuming because I had not showed up with my blonde companion? Would he take out his frustrations on anyone or keep them to himself? Would he write? My thoughts became somehow centered around the Dark Lord and those heated nights we had spent together, passionate whispers spoken in the dark. Now when I was alone at night, the darkness cradling me like an infant, I thought of him. I thought of those molten eyes and the feel of his skin on my own, moving against my own and my temperature never failed to spike. Sometimes, I hoped that I was just a phase for him. That he would eventually tire of the chase and leave me be. If I was honest with myself however, deep down inside my heart of heart, I hoped he wouldn't. No one had ever wanted me so much. No one had ever wanted me enough to chase me relentlessly, to never count me out. Somehow, I knew that he would never let me go and instead of being a frightening thought, it gave me a peculiar sense of peace. I was wanted. I didn't know why or what he saw in me that I couldn't find in myself but at least at this one moment, I could look back and say that I had been wanted.

~ o ~

I grimaced inwardly, looking around at all of the teenagers lounging about in the Black home. I would rather have been stuck at the Dursley's any day. At least now I could scare them into leaving me alone. I had hidden up in my room on teh second floor until Ginny had come in, demanding to know why I didn't hang out with her any more. Her attempt to engage me in a game with the rest of the teenaged crew had failed and she had "accidentally" let slip to my location shortly after and "wouldn't it be nice if Harry didn't hole up like a hermit all day?" Damn. I'd been near forcibly dragged from the serene sanctuary of my thoughts to play nice downstairs with the other less legal occupants of the house. I watched on in mild disgust as they drank their weight in hot cocoa and crammed sugary sweets down their throats. Was Mrs. Weasley trying to make them all as rotundas as herself? I stopped, my lips pursing in disappointment. Since when had I had such unkind thoughts about people? Molly Weasley had been like a mother to me once. I suppose I was just becoming so jaded and disillusioned now. I was feeling so…tired all of the time. Tired and sick. Sick to my stomach, sick to my head and sick to my heart. I missed Draco and Lucius and Narcissa. Hell, I even missed Tom. My one small consolation was that Severus would be visiting in a few days so I would be able to get a break from this sickening display of cheer and festivities. I hated it all. It was so fake. My irritation had reached an all new peak today at dinner. Fortunately Dumbledore had not been there to berate him for his display of rather crude language that had even Mad Eye Moody looking quite surprised.

When Mrs. Weasley had barged into my room to drag me out, I had been irritated. When she had sat me bodily down at the table and tried to force feed me, I had skipped angry and gone straight to infuriated. It was one of the reasons I was currently fuming in the den downstairs, ignoring the other children around me despite more than one trying to engage me in conversation. They were all eyeing me like I was going to start incanting crazily and making out with a Dementor at any moment. I sighed, giving their ridiculous behavior an eye roll. And just think. I could be spending the day pleasantly, exercising in Dray's room at Malfoy Manor. It was an odd day that I would rather be at the Dursley's than with anyone else in my presence. I curled up in the small niche in front of the window, tapping my quill against the blank muggle book in front of me. Hedwig was warming her feathers comfortably on the back a chair by the fire, no doubt knowing that she would be back out in the snow soon enough. The other teens had pulled out board games and had spread out all around the room. A tray full to bursting with snacks, cakes and every food known to man that inspired my gag reflex had been refilled recently. I had politely and curtly refused any offers of hot chocolate and instead, sipped on some black coffee that somehow managed to warm me to my toes. Severus really had a stroke of genius when he'd introduced me to the stuff. Delicious and calorie free! I doodled a vine carelessly along the side of the page before settling in and beginning to write.

_'Dray,It's absolute agony here, I swear. If I have to fend off the biscuits and bacon that Mrs. Weasley tries to shove at me one more time, I'm going at her with my broom. It's ridiculous! She says that I don't eat enough! Well, there is no WAY it's healthy to eat as much as they do in one sitting. It's like watching rabid hyenas on a fresh kill. I miss you so much. Tell your mum I said thanks so much for those low cal candies. They were wonderful. I even miss your father. You can tell him I said so too. And he thought that I would never work out in a Slytherin house! Well, now that I've gotten you laughing, as I can only imagine the smirk you're wearing now, lovey, I demand that we plot. I cannot stay here all summer too. I will go absolutely bonkers here and get enormously fat and I know you won't let that happen to me. Is there any way that I could get out of staying where Dumbledore tells me I have too? I mean, technically, he isn't my guardian and surely this temporary guardianship crap won't work over the summer too? My aunt and uncle are and they would be pleased as peacocks if they could get rid of me for the summer. Then, if it's not too much trouble or anything, do you think I could come stay the summer with you? I'm gonna croak here, Dray, seriously. My aunt and uncle's house is better than this place. I just can't connect with them anymore, you know? And Dumbledore just lords his power over me all day. So is there any loophole or something that you or your father could think of to get me out of here? Ugh, the food patrol and the snitch squad are coming back. Write me as soon as you can! Much love and calorie counting, Harrison.'_

I whistled for Hedwig and wrapped the book in impenetrable parchment, tying the thing to her leg. I was skillfully ignoring the three people standing around me, flanking one another like guards. Once Hedwig was safely out the window, I sat back down and turned blank but annoyed eyes on my "friends". I inwardly scoffed. Friends don't rat out friends to higher authorities for "their own good". I at least gave Ron a small smile. He had been the only one to come and apologize to me so far. I warmed a little when he gave me a relieved smile back. Hermione was, as usual, clutching a book and worrying her bottom lip. Ginny was trying to look innocent but failed, especially when my eyes darkened in anger when she cam einto my view. The snitch squad indeed.

"Heya, mate. We were wondering if you wanted to come to the kitchen and get some pie and ice cream with us. Mum made it home made and everything." Ron said good naturedly, obviously trying not to notice my irritation with the other two members of his posse.

"No thank you. I don't feel like sweets right now." Was my calm reply.

I really had missed Ron. He was my first friend and being at odds with him had hurt. At least he was willing to make concessions for me so it would be poor friendship if I didn't do the same for him. Hermione was eyeing me like a hawk. Or a vulture about to swoop in on a dying animal.

"Who are you writing to, Harry?" She asked, trying to sound as if it didn't matter and she was just curious but I knew she had been keeping tabs on my correspondences as much as possible without being obvious about it.

I wonder if Ron had noticed or knew about it. It didn't seem liek he did. I nearly sneered at her. No doubt she was telling someone about it or something like that. Probably Dumble-dick. I wasn't sure of the reason but could only assume that it had something to do with Draco being a Slytherin or maybe even because of Lucius. Maybe even Tom. Scratch that, more than likely because of Tom. The sod couldn't even leave me in peace from hundreds of miles away.

"Draco. You know, Hermione. I don't keep tabs on who you speak to, so I would appreciate it if you didn't keep charts of who I mail. It might be construed badly." He hissed, the heat of his anger peaking out at last. She at least had the grace to look embarrassed and guilty. Her cheeks colored and Ron sputtered beside her, torn between protecting the girl he liked and keeping hold of the tenuous understanding they had reinstated. It seemed that he would settle for quietly not choosing a side.

"I'm just worried about you, Harry. That's all. I'll stop though, if it makes you unhappy..." She said quickly, worrying her lip once again.

"Well it does. The last thing I need right now are my friends spying on me." I shot a dirty venomous look at Ginny who squeaked and scurried off probably to tell her mother I had looked at her wrong. Sneak.

I had gathered up my belongings and began to walk off in a huff when Hermione called after me. It was her voice that struck me. It was filled with a quiet desperation that I had never heard in her strong voice. A plea for him to understand and take notice. I was all at once glad that the others had steadily migrated downstairs as well. The room was empty except for the three of us.

"Harry? Are you...okay?" She asked, her voice soft and full of concern.

I immediately flashed back to the beginning of the year when Draco had asked me the exact same thing. The night that we had made peace and become best friends. It was truly an interesting paradox. I was suddenly awash in a never ending sea of shame. Guilt for treating my friends badly washed over me, drowning me in it and I set my bag down on the floor. How could I face them now? Sure, we had our disagreements and they had their flaws but they had been there for me. Ron's change of heart proved that they cared. No matter what Dumblefuck did, it didn't make them any less my friends. Slowly, I turned to face them. I was suddenly struck by how different they seemed to be now. They seemed to have grown up and left me behind without anyone noticing.

I wondered where along their path that I had stopped and they had continued walking along, never noticing that I was no longer following them. The thought brought tears to my eyes that I tried to hide as quickly as I could. I had just been so damned emotional lately...Dray seemed to be the only person I could share my pain with now. He was the only one who understood anymore. I looked at my friends and just shook my head, pressing the butt of my palms into my tired eyes as they approached. Hermione's arm found it's way around my waist softly.

"I'm just so...tired. I don't sleep much anymore. And I just miss him so much..." I whispered, unsure at what time my tears had started to escape beneath my palms.

I feared that if I let them slip out that they would just keep coming. They would keep coming until I had nothing left to give anymore, until I was bled eased me down onto the couch gently and just sat rocking me lightly like you would a small child. I never told her that I couldn't sleep because I was too busy fighting hunger and nightmares during the night. I didn't tell her that I barely ate anymore and when I was forced to at school now, I usually immediately went to the bathroom and threw it all up. I didn't tell her that I hated myself so much that I cringed inside every time I looked in the mirror. I just sat in my friends' arms and cried. At some point, Hermione and Ron had helped me up to my room without my notice and helped me into bed. Hermione had gotten a Dreamless Sleep Potion from somewhere and eased it down my throat lightly. I felt her tuck me in like a mother would and sit next to me until I fell asleep. In my last strands of consciousness, I felt Ron lift my glasses off of my face and heard Hermione whisper goodnight. My inner guilt and self hatred only seemed to magnify at their tenderness. I fell asleep, wishing that I could somehow be a better person than I was, that I could somehow just be what everyone expected me to be. I felt as if I would break apart into pieces and blow away in the wind. I drifted off and didn't wake up until three o'clock in the afternoon the next day.

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	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Okie doke! Chapter Eighteen! Don't forget to read and review, ladies and gents! It is this poor author's lifeblood.

Disclaimer: Nope! I claim nothing! Nothing, you hear?

Chapter Eighteen~~~_At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves_

I made a very interesting decision after I had been at Grimmauld for about a week. I may not be at Hogwarts anymore and I may not be with Draco but that didn't mean I had to totally let my routine go. The familiarity of my routine was a comfort that nothing else seemed to bring me at the moment. I had woken up after my breakdown the other day with a new outlook on the friends that I had left behind. The friends that were outgrowing me little by little, day by day. They were giving me my space but the tension between us had melted into nothing and when I wasn't working out or working on school work, I could be found in the back of the library sometimes, quietly sharing a workspace with my two friends. I still avoided the other students like they had infectious boils but Hermione and Ron seemed to be okay with my antisocial tendencies as long as I was with them. I liked that. I don't know what I would've done if they'd forced me to do more, be more, than I wanted. I didn't seek out these children's attentions anymore. I was a social leper in this dark house and that's how I wanted it to be.

I found an unused, empty dueling room on the second floor, mere corridors away from my bedroom that I could set up as an exercise room. Dray would be tickled at my resourcefulness. I paused in my set of crunches as my best friend filtered into my tired brain. His last letter had been very…unhappy. Lucius was starting to train Dray to carry on the family name, to take the mantle of Head of the Family one day. He was going to be absent from Hogwarts more and more over the next few months. There was already vague plans for the two Malfoy men to spend the greater portion of the summer in Italy. _Italy_. A place I couldn't follow. Where did that leave me then? I would have to stay with the Dursleys…or here. Something was telling me that Dumbledore would see that it was the latter. No doubt an attempt to force feed me lies and shepherd's pie. And crumpets. And pancakes. My stomach rolled, burning with hunger and the same moment that I tried to sit up, dizziness overcoming me. Merlin's saggy nut sack. Maybe a banana wouldn't kill my calories too much. In any case, I could always get rid of it later if I needed to. My world spun as I used the window sill to pull myself to my feet. There was a cool evening breeze flowing in from the open window, the sounds and smells of a damp, empty cobblestone street wafted in with the night.

The halls were dark and deep at this hour, an ungodly three in the morning. I didn't sleep much anymore, thank Merlin for glamours. I'd started to use them to make my form look a little more filled out so Mrs. Weasley would get off my back. Persistent wretched woman. She'd started getting underhanded with the feeding thing until I learned the glamours. Now, she merely clucked her tongue unhappily at the sight of me before insisting that Ron finish his own food. Harrison 1, Molly 0. I'd call that a victory on my part. Grimmauld was cool at this hour, the lone psychotic house elf, Kreacher, sleeping in his den in the kitchen cupboard. The stairs creaked as I tip toed down their bulk, trying valiantly to prevent anyone discovering my late night activities. Fate seemed to be against me this evening though, the heinous bitch. An overwhelming wave of vertigo hit me like a Mac truck half way down my decent of the staircase. I felt myself crumble forward, my vision going black for one terrifying moment. I was airborne for that moment and it felt…freeing. Like I was flying. A release of everything that was and is and would ever be. A sweet abandon that was, as always, denied to me. A pair of arms caught me before I could make it far and my vision began to clear. The face of stranger, but one whose gruesome countenance everyone in the Wizarding World knew greeted me.

Sirius Black.

Blue eyes looked out at me from beneath scraggily hair that had seen worst days and a thin face that could use some sun. There was a towel around the man's neck and he was wearing a clean robe. Sirius Black was in Grimmauld Place. And his dastardly plan had been to…shower?

"Are you alright?"

I felt like laughing hysterically in the face of everything I had been told about anything. All this year it had been reamed into my skull how dangerous this man was, how he was such a supporter of Voldemort and that he wanted to kill me. And now he was showering in Order of the Phoenix headquarters and saving me from villainous staircases. What was the world coming to? The man gave me a wry grin as he stared at my flabbergasted expression. He chuckled, running a hand through his hair and releasing me from his life saving grip.

"Well this is a mite awkward."

No shit Sherlock. I couldn't help but grin back at him, though. I couldn't help it. As seductive as the Dark Lord was, Sirius Black exuded this easy going, carefree charm that sucked a person in like quick sand. It seemed impossible not to smile with him, despite the damage that Azkaban had done. I held out my hand, my grin widening at his surprise.

"Harry Potter. I guess, thanks for saving my neck and all." I said, letting my gratitude shine through in my voice.

He clapped my hand with his own, his good naturedness turning to genuine excitement. Excitement that someone was actually talking to him, instead of the whole 'Curse First, Dementor's Kiss later' kind of deal.

"Sirius. Sirius Black but just Sirius if you don't mind. I never really got along with my family."

Oh Merlin, if this man was a Death Eater, I would kiss Tom's arse. Just to be safe though, I suppose I could go to sleep for a while and ask the Dark Lord myself. No need to be kissing any horny arses, if I didn't have to after all. There was a stirring in the doorway of the kitchen and a dark figure stepped into the light, nursing a cup of hot coffee.

Severus gave us both an irate look before glancing me up and down. I got the feeling it was more to reassure himself of my well being than to scorn. My smile broadened and I was suddenly a drowning man on solid ground once more.

"Brat, must you insist on keeping us all up at all hours? It's enough I cater to your ridiculous whims during the day." He groused unhappily though his voice held no sting.

Sirius had gone still beside me and the two men began assessing each other cooly but calm.

"Severus…You weren't sleeping anyways, you grouch. How are you? Any news from Draco? Narcissa?"

The Potions' Master rolled his eyes and gave a long suffering sigh, breaking his staring contest with the alleged convict in the hall.

"Yes, Harrison, Draco asked me to be his owl for him. I come bearing presents from the lot of them. All four of them." His eyes pierced me meaningfully and I winced slightly.

_Four. _That meant Tom too. Tom had gotten me a gift? Curiosity stirred in me but coupling with it like a lover was caution. Surely he wouldn't send me anything crazy right? No hidden port keys or suggestive toys, right? My face flooded with mortification at the very thought. What WAS I getting myself into? I let the moment pass before putting my hands on my hips much like I had seen Molly Weasley do when she scolded her many children.

"Well, may I have my letter, oh great one? I have plotting and scheming to do with my secret lover, after all." He gave me a snort of derision that could cripple a lesser man.

He produced two letters from the folds of his cloak: one with Dray's beloved script on the back and one with a peculiar curving symbol on the back. A regular person would just see it as an interesting design and only two people alive would recognize it for what it was: parsletongue. The parchment simply bore a V on the back of it but that was enough to tell me who the sender was. I left the two men to stare at each other, Sirius mouthing 'lover?' as I made my way back up the stairs, banana forgotten.

~ o ~

Dray's letter was simply a resurgance of the usual: I love you, I miss you, training is going well and I'm sex deprived. It was the second letter that had the most interest to me. I opened the red wax seal, my hand wavering anxiously. What would the Dark Lord have to say that was so important he would mail me in Order Headquarters? Was it about Sirius Black? About our heated, passionate nights together? Or was it perhaps some other interest arising? A new game Tom was initiating between the two of us? It was too much to hope that he was ready to leave me alone, of course. That, I had no illusions of. I unrolled the elegant parchment warily, my whole body practically thrumming with anxiety. The parchment simply held a single sentence that was enough to floor me, root me to the spot to stare at the paper. I felt several things well up in me at once: anger, worry, embarrassment and, the more shameful emotion, desire. There, in a scrawl that would put painters to shame was a simple phrase.

'_No amount of Occlumency can keep you from me.'_

I was suddenly glad I had opened it in private. My face flooded with red embarrassment and a low stirring began in my groin. This was so…ridiculous. It was ridiculous to have these urges for the bloody Dark Lord! Sure, the sod was great in bed. Sure, he had taken my virginity in a blaze of glorious sex, so what? Merlin be damned. I stuffed the offending thing in the fire before anyone could walk in on me wanking over some stupid bloody parchment. What in the seven blazes was wrong with me?

~ o ~

Christmas was the affair it usually was when Molly Weasley was involved albeit slightly less involved on account of there being so many people. It was easy to slip away unnoticed in the large crowd of Order members and children up to my room for some breathing space. I had received a box of gags from the twins, a journal from Hermione, a bag of sweets from Ron, a sweater from Mrs. Weasley, a book on curses from Ginny and, surprisingly enough, a new set of potions scales and a book titled 'How Not To Kill Yourself: The Idiot's Guide to Healing Potions, Spells and Cures'. No one but the two of us seemed to understand my sudden bout of laughter at the gift. Dray had sent me a bitter sweet gift: a portrait of him and his family in the Alsace-Lorraine, France. It was snowing there. Draco kept grinning up at him despite the portrait Narcissa trying to discreetly nudge him to pay attention. Lucius eyes would glance adoringly at his family every few moments when no one was looking. My heart yearned to be with them but I knew it was impossible. The Malfoys had been secretive about their heir preparations for generations, apparently. No one was allowed access. It didn't make me any less homesick for my best friend's presence though. I was left with just one package left. The gift from Tom. My hands unwrapped the pristine package deftly, ever curious as to what the Dark Lord could have possibly gotten me. It was nothing I had ever expected. Inside the box was a set of artists pencils, some paints and charcoals and a professional grade sketch pad. It was…the most thoughtful gift I had received in years. Since my photo album I had gotten when I was eleven. There was a note on the inside that said it all but somehow managed to carry the weight of the Dark Lord's budding affection for me all at once.

'_I want to see the world the way you see it. Show it to me.'_

I smiled, sticking the note on the inside of the sketch pad for safe keeping. Every time I thought I knew that man, he surprised me again. I settled down onto my bed in Grimmauld to draw the first thing that came to mind: Draco, just before he woke in the morning. Still sleeping and serene, untouched by the problems of the world.

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	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Okay, so I know its been quite some time since I updated this story. No I haven't decided to abandon it. I will say this again and again. I WILL NEVER ABANDON A STORY. EVER. Lol so anyone who was worried, have no fear.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter Nineteen…._Nothing make me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you._

The spring semester at Hogwarts wasn't at all how I had hoped it would be. More often than not, if we weren't in class, Draco was gone, learning the finer points of the law so that he could succeed his father at the Ministry. I found myself more alone now than ever. Ron and Hermione occasionally came to spend time with me but they were a couple now and my previous hostility between us could not be so easily forgotten. We remained friends but it was merely a distant ghost of what it once was. There was nothing to fill the aching void that consumed my days…nothing for me to do except throw myself into the one thing that made me happy. After all, what else was there for me? Dieting made me feel…good. Warm and attractive where I had only ever been that scrawny kid in the ugly clothes. It made me feel like I could accomplish _anything_, face any foe! It was a minor hunger pain or fatigue that was replaced by all of the feelings of positive self-worth that I could contain. I felt invincible.

During the day, I could run on fumes and this feeling of excellence without a single hiccup in my resolve. It was only after a long hard workout, falling into bed in the middle of the night that I allowed despair to surge over me like the tide. It was only in my bed, protected from the outside world by curtains and layers of protective spells, that I let the world break me into child-sized pieces. I was like a murdered child, forever lost and alone, frozen in the cold, faceless ground.

No one would ever find my true self. Perhaps, years later, they would stumble across his body while digging for some piece of information or another, nothing but bones of their savior. A skeleton of my former self. No one would ever find my killer. They would never know that what had killed him to begin with was them, the world itself. It was an unforgiving beast in sheep's clothing to snatch me up and strangle the life out of me night after night after endless night. An unforgiving rape of everything I was, everything I could have been. It was in these nights that the fantasy was born. What would it be like to escape? To throw open the Great Hall doors and just run. To leave everything behind, to find a place where there was no Headmaster, no expectation and no murdered children. To leave the Wizarding World behind and seek out a place beyond everything else I knew. To run away. But it was a fantasy only. I couldn't just leave. Right?

~o~

Insomnia. It was a cruel mistress and seemed to lead me by the hand more and more these days. I found myself in random places these nights, wishing for sleep to find me but always unsuccessful. This cold, frigid February night found me high up in the Astronomy Tower, looking out at the grounds. My winter cloak was hugged around me just as tightly as my depression was. Not even my fantasy could distract me tonight. I shuddered in the night air. It seemed harder and harder to keep warm the thinner I became. I was cold practically all the time now and I'd finally broken down and resorted to casting several warming charms on my blankets and pillows. I let out a world weary sigh, my breath coming in a frosty mist.

"What has you so downtrodden, pet?"

I ground my teeth against the cold and irritation, turning around to take in my visitor.

"I'm not your pet. And how did you get in here?"

The Dark Lord smirked, his black cloaked form leaning against the stone wall nearby. He was handsome, as always, sinfully so but I knew that beautiful roses always hid deadly thorns. A handsome face didn't distract me from how dangerous he could be. Not a lot, at least. This was, after all, the same devious Dark Lord that had kidnapped and drugged me, however pleasant our encounter may have been.

"_Harrison_. I'm Slytherin's heir. The castle will always recognize me as one of its own. Besides, its Valentine's Day today. I would be a poor suitor indeed if I didn't bring you a gift." The man purred.

I cocked an eyebrow disbelievingly. Suitor? Is _that_ what he called it?

"Oh? Do tell."

Voldemort smirked, leaning in close to seemingly inhale my essence. I would never understand why he had to make every little thing feel pornographic and indecent. Horny old man.

"Alas, I decided that granting you a single request would be far more valuable to you than a pretty trinket. So what will it be, my lovely serpent? A spared friend? A bus full of nuns and children? Or some other thing you would have of me?" His voice belied his amusement with the situation.

Clearly, he expected me to ask for the life of one of my friends. He was not expecting what I did ask for. Months of loneliness pressed in on me all at once. Outside of my control, I suddenly wanted him. I wanted him more than I'd wanted anything else before. He was the answer, the one person who would never leave me alone, even when I desperately wanted him to. I looked at the Dark Lord, my eyes filling with despair like forested jade pools of longing. I looked at him and poured into my expression the want I felt in that moment.

"Touch me." Voldemort raised a curious eyebrow at my whispered demand, though I could tell he was not unaffected by the look I was leveling him with.

"And what brought this sudden interest on, Harrison?"

How could I say? I was so confused and hurt and heart sick on the inside…All I wanted was someone to give me the physical touch I hadn't felt since Draco and I had decided to end our relationship. I just wanted…to matter to someone again.

"I just want to know that someone cares that I'm here…I want someone to want me around, no matter the reason." I choked out a bitter, thick laugh, running my hand through my unruly hair, "I know you want me, Tom, and right now, I really need someone I can trust myself with. At least in this respect." I leveled my desperate gaze on the calculating man before me, my voice dropping to a whisper, "So please…just do this for me. I want you right now."

Voldemort watched as I slid a trembling hand up his elegantly robed chest, seemingly contemplating my request. It took only another plead from my desperate emerald eyes for the Dark Lord to fold and lift me up bridal style.

~o~

Fire. It coiled deliciously in my belly, growing, stroked to life by the touch scorching across my skin. I didn't think I had ever felt so heated, so aroused in all of my life. Crimson eyes burned across every inch of my exposed flesh and I shuddered with the sensation. A tongue found its way into the cavern of my mouth just as a powerful hand grasped my hip. It was all so much, so much at once. Like a person could be flame and a helpless puddle all at once. Like liquid kerosene, ignited in my blood stream. He stroked every crevice I possessed, mapping out the very corners of my body and soul. He touched me and the flames melted away that loneliness I suffered. All of the feelings of unworthiness and dirty shame. He didn't complain that my hip bones jutted a little more than normal. He didn't comment on the pale tone of my skin and he certainly didn't complain when I began to give just as well as I received. I had asked for this. I was going to enjoy it and I was going to make sure he didn't regret it either. I knelt over him, drinking in his flesh as if it were sweet candy. Fire on my skin, in my blood and when I looked up at him through dark bangs, there was fire in his eyes too. Blazing out of all control.

~o~

No one seemed concerned when I didn't appear the next day. Thank goodness Valentine's Day fell on a Friday. I was in no condition to be sitting down anywhere. In any case, I was perfectly comfortable lying in bed on my cozy Dark Lord pillow that I really didn't spare a thought to school. It wasn't like Draco would be there anyways. A hand was running through my hair, smoothing out the bed head. His hand got stuck on a bit of dried…ewwwww, how had _that_ gotten in there? Voldemort only laughed at my expression of disgust and I shook my head at his amusement.

"You're an absolute animal, you know that?"

"Oh, you think so?" He sounded entirely too pleased with himself. Well I suppose he had the right. It wasn't often that sixty year old men had all night sex marathons with young stallions like me. I snorted at the thought.

"I know so."

He leveled me with a devilish, Cheshire cat smirk and I knew I wasn't going to like what came out of that wicked mouth next.

"Well, do forgive me for pointing this out, pet, but I'm not the one with the sticky mess in my hair and I can tell you now that it's not MY mess, if you catch my drift."

My face lit up like one of those obscene Valentine cards that half the school was throwing around yesterday. I had received my fair share of the things, some even containing marriage proposals and not all of them were in jest.

"Ugh. Shower. Now, please."

I went to stand and an aching pain shot up my spine, sending me sprawling back across the chuckling wizard's lap. His amusement had me rather unamused, to say the least.

"Have no worries. I will get you into the shower, pet," He lifted me up much as he had last night, completely unconcerned about our state of nudity and smirked down at me, " for a price, of course."

That was how I ended up tied to the shower head moments later, my entire being trembling in desire once more. I slipped away afterwards, leaving a self-satisfied Dark Lord behind, smirking from ear to ear. The snake who got the Harry.

R&R!


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